Hello all. Great forum here with lots of terrific info. I've looked at many of the threads but wanted to post a specific situation. This is painful, but here it goes. We have $140,000 in credit card debt. We made a move to NYC for my profession (arts) to try and make it. I have made progress but its been slow. Once I make it, we'll be set financially (within the next year). The worst part is that my wife has no idea about the debt, completely stupid on my part but I just keep going deeper and deeper. Her name is on some of the cards, not on others. I do have a small job and my wife has a great job. We probably bring home roughly $8000 per month, rent is almost $3000. Its now gotten to the point that I can't keep up with the minimum payments on the card (I have no late pays and a pretty good credit score at this point 730ish). I'm probably good until next month then its going to hit the fan. I have a very wealthy friend but don't have much courage to ask them for help, thinking about asking for a consolidation loan from them but don't want to strain the relationship. We rent and basically the only net worth we have is about $70k in retirement and two vehicles (one paid off, one almost paid off). Should I talk to my creditors before things get behind? About $65k of the debt is with my banker, Bank of America. Should I try to "settle?" Thanks in advance for the help. Momojo
Why do you think then it is going to be OK? Do you have something in the works? Contract? Commission? Why doesn't your wife know about the cards with her name on them? DO NOT ASK YOUR FRIEND FOR MONEY as the relationship WILL NEVER EVER BE THE SAME AGAIN!! No matter how nice and or rich someone is there will be resentment or one up manship and a beholding to the friend and the friend will be ticked off if they think you are spending unwisely and or loathing or whatever. YOu will probably avoid him/her . keep secrets so small such as going out to celebrate at a nice restaurant, or buying that new jacket, or getting a dog, or what have you...You don't need to keep more secrets or to be a subject, huh? If you have 50K in retirement funds, then use some of that to keep paying the monthly bills. BoA is NOT going to work with you, and if you call them they will cancel your credit right away IMO , so if you really are going to be in the money this year, then use what you have now to get you thru then refurbish your cache when you make the money later this year. I do think though you should start being truthful with your wife... Good luck! Woofer
You are for real? This isn't a troll? Dumb Bob calls troll but he'll play along. Right. It's not that smart on her part either. You are even! Which you took out without her knowledge? Johnny Cash wrote a song about Folsom Prison that Dumb Bob rather likes. You need to live in your cars for about a year and a half. Dumb Bob suggests you not make the kids sleep in the trunk. That's certainly an unpleasant point to be in. Of course given you are making $8000 a month, I'm sure you can find some way to make it another month. Let Dumb Bob try to understand. You've opened credit cards in someone else's name and risk that becoming known by the person who you opened it under and the police and you are worried about "strain"? There you go, you've still got assets to spend. The whole debt is only twice what you've got in retirement. So change your ways and use that money to deal with this nonsense, and find a place to live in that you can afford. "Settle"? You are a fat target. You make $8000 a month. Wage ganishment is probably 25% in your state. It's also possible since that money comes from your wife that she might notice.
I've seen that word used a few times here and there but never have been able to figure out what a troll is or what they do. Would you please be so kind as to explain what a troll is and what they do? I do know about the type of troll from Scandinavian folklore but the internet has apparently invented some other definition of the word.
Or a troll is to post just to incite a board and wants to get a response... Thus *do not feed the trolls* Woofer
And some sure have done that,woofer just to let you know it snowed here yesterday morning,i need to get out of here.Would somebody like to adopt another set of parents and a new sister,have are on medical and decent income,still use the toilet and when we walk you don't here the crinkle of depends.lol
Actually say it is a naive poster branded a troll, IF the person sticks around and asks questions that are not *troll like* to the masses, then the *troll* soon becomes part of the group ) I did not think this poster was a troll, maybe a bit delusional though ; ) We will see what happens . Woofer
Some of us,do have a chance at big chunks of money down the road, so this is why I am with you as far as the poster not being a troll. Hey I owed more than the poster, and got out from down under so I know it can be done sometimes, and like I said some of us can get a chunk of money be it selling stocks, selling a book,selling a piece of art work... So they wait un til the money comes in and then pay off the wolves.for a lot less, and sometimes Red Riding Hood, EATS the WOLVES and lives happily ever after ; ) Woofer
I used to shoot coyotes when I was a kid but I never ate any of them. Does eating them make any difference? If so, I think I'll pass.
Dumb Bob had thought that "troll" was a known term on the internet. He wasn't calling the person who made the post a troll, he was asking if that post was "a troll". Making a post that is "a troll" and being "a troll" are not the same things. The entire intent was to cover Dumb Bob so that in case it was someone having some fun, Dumb Bob would not appear to be quite so gullible: "Look, he even believed that I made $8000 a month but couldn't pay the minimum on $140,000 in credit card bills." After making that comment, Dumb Bob than pretty much played it straight, responding to each part of the post within whatever capacity Dumb Bob has to respond. It should be noted that the poster has only posted once. So either Dumb Bob scared him off, for which Dumb Bob now apologizes, or the initial usually amply attuned "trolldar" of Dumb Bob was in fact spot on to the telltale lilt.
Well to me a TROLL is a NOUN poster and TROLLING is a VERB post...; ) Oh and you are right no signs of the poster since ; ) Woofer
I dunno, having owned a coydog, and also rehabbed several coyotes, I would not think to eat him, and not being a red meat eater, I couldn't tell you. I'll have to ask LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD.; ) Woofer
Woofer, I really appreciate your response; direct and thoughtful. After I read the others, I didn't really feel like I was getting any help so I quit reading for awhile, no useable information. Bob sparked a nice discussion about Trolls though. The credit cards were not opened in my wife's name without her consent, we already had the cards, I just ran up the balances to cover our cost of moving to NYC and month to month living. Without getting too specific, I was a college professor for 11 years and made the jump into the professional aspect of my area. The pay is ok but not steady like academia. I am up for several jobs, I can have 3-4 at the same time (these are typically 5-10 year appointments) and each pay $75k-$150k annually. So yes, after three years of being at it and getting clobbered in debt, I was selected to be showcased nationally last month, this sparked interest and now there are more opportunities. So I'm going to figure out how to talk to my wife about all this debt, we have a very strong relationship, and if she stays with me after all this "hiding" of credit card debt, then we should be able to struggle through until these jobs come through. Eye on the prize. Thanks Woofer.
Oh Woofer, I forgot two items. The "friend" is a billionaire (inherited from her parents who started a huge international distribution company) that lives 2000 miles away from us. We stay in touch and see each other once every couple of years and email about once or twice a month. She is a former artist herself and has helped countless of us "starving" artists survive until their ship sails, especially students. They both (her and her husband) have a lot of faith in me and I thought she might be able to provide a consolidation loan which would facilitate a fast payoff. I also contacted USBank, and they reduced the interest rate from 22% to 13% on a $25k card. The other interest rates aren't "0," but not 22% either. One step at a time. Eye on the prize.
