Saw a good friend of mine for New Year's Eve and the conversation turned to credit (I may have guided it there <g>). Anyway, my friend has absolutely awful credit - she said last time she saw her score it was in the 300's.(honestly I didn't know scores could dip into the 300's...learned something new!) Now she's got big plans - leaving her husband and being a single mom with 2 kids and finding a place to live. And she's currently unemployed, because of a layoff. So I volunteer to help her with this credit stuff. She has no bankruptcies, no repos. Just lates on everything she has ever paid, even utilities, car payment, etc. Now, my question is this - I'm concerned with opening up a can of worms that the lid can't be put back on, meaning there's going to be soooo many items to dispute, I'm afraid that accounts that have been dormant with no one calling or writing her for their money, this is gonna start that up again. I'm trying to get this situated in my head - I've read about validation letters, but I've also read that people have gotten calls after the letter has been sent. Is that just something that you have to be willing to risk or did I miss some important stuff? Our first step, obviously would be getting the report. But I'm fuzzy on step #2 - disputing with the original creditor or disputing with the cra?? I know this has been covered but I cannot find this info anywhere, and it's driving me nuts. Thanks for any help you can give, Ozzy.
I really think you cant do much to hurt that score. Its good she has plans, just make sure she is willing to committ, her first step is paying everything on time for at least 6 months and her credit score will improve just with that alone. I think you should start disputing the little things. Tackling inquiries and latenesses and dispute online for faster results.
I agree with Laray. Even more specifically, she is probably not ready for any true repair beyond disputing the little things. Certainly not score building. Her first mandatory step is to get her income together. She MUST have enough cash flow to be able to cover and pay her entire lifestyle AND have extra to pay the bash fees necessary to climb the subprime ladder. Credit techniques can't help her in the current state you described. She needs a job! A good one. Or perhaps a lottery ticket...
The only thing that I would worry about is her getting judgments BECAUSE of the disputes. That is assuming that some of these are charge-offs or never paid anyway.
Yeah I know...I can't believe she let things get so bad - I hate to say it but she grew up kind of spoiled and never worried about money - and that carried over into adulthood. She'll spend $ on getting her nails done or things like that and put off paying a bill. *That* drives me absolutely crazy. Her parents have bailed her out of money situations before - but have since stopped since she is a grown woman with 2 kids. It didn't occur to me to tell her to make sure that she pays her current bills timely - that seems like a given to me, but to her, well... probably not. After thinking about this, I'm starting to think that if she can't commit to making payments timely on current obligations that I'd be just beating a dead horse - I was telling her of some of the success stories I've read on here and I don't think she quite understood how much time and energy you must commit to credit repair - thinking back, I think she thought what I was talking about was just a quick, easy fix.... a few letters and you're there. I told her I'd help her since I'm online and she isn't, (phone was disconnected for.... nonpayment), but I guess trying to get old stuff fixed if she's still not being responsible isn't going to be productive. I hate to see her turned down for apartments because of her credit (the employment issue should change shortly, she's sending out resumes again today). Thanks for the comments - this just made me realize that me helping her might not be the best thing - it may just take her getting turned down for apartments to make her understand how important timley bill paying is....I'm so torn though - I want to be a good friend and help her, but ya know, I'm not sure at this point she deserves the help. That might sound harsh, especially considering she's been my friend since we've been kids, but I just found out she purposely bounced checks for Xmas gifts - she said she'll pay the stores directly plus the bounced check fee, but ya know, if she took that $20-$30 bounced check fee for each store (like 4-5 stores), she could easily pay her back phone bill................. Now I feel silly for bothering anyone with my post. All this stuff didn't click until I reread my post and the responses..... My apologies. Ozzy.
No, Ozzy, please don't apologize! While I can't offer any specific advice, I will say that your post was most welcome, and a reminder to all of us digging out of debt that things could be worse. There are members here who have overcome seemingly impossible challenges in life, and stories like those may inspire your friend to make a change. Sorry if this was cliche', but the point is that your post wasn't silly at all. It's hard to watch someone you care about struggle like that, and I wish your friend the very best of luck.
heck, don't worry about the phone bill right away, as long as you're in a state that has local service providers other than the baby bell for that area. Yeah the service is prepaid, and in a lot of cases you can't get long distance, but if her situation is that bad off, she doesn't need the temptation of being able to pick up the phone and run up another couple of hundreds of dollars in debt. just my two cents..
Ozzy, I completely relate! I'm trying to help a couple of relatives who are in the same boat as your friend. Actually, that's how I found this board in the first place. You see, I wrongly assumed that most of the problem was just that they were kinda forgetful. After a short time, though I realized it isn't a credit problem. It's a lifestyle problem. They spend much more than they can afford. Period. Trying to do credit repair for them is like trying to bail out a sinking boat with a sieve. *sigh* She just called me today saying that she's getting yet another collection account for a $75.00 medical bill she can't afford to pay. It just kills me to stand by and allow it, but we've 'loaned' (ok, given) her enough money and I can't in good conscience tell her to pay it knowing her rent and car might not be paid this month. But, on the bright side, I did find this board. And, while I don't really need credit repair (scores mid 700's) I have learned loads and loads and LOADS! And, some day, maybe I'll show her how to put some of this to use. Myschae
I think you're on the right track. Order the reports FIRST to see what they say. Check all the collection accounts. Has the sol expired? If so, there is nothing they can do if she sends a validation letter except validate the debt or remove the debt. As for the lates, how old are they? Are they with major companies like citi, amex, ect? If so good luck. If they are with small companies, lates work the same way. If she has 90 day lates ect from 1997 they may not be able to verify the accuracy of the lates, and they can be removed. Its important that you devise some sort of game plan. I would start with the collection accounts. Determine if the sol is up, if so demand validation and play hardball. Don't give them one day over 30 days, file a claim at your local magistrate if necessary. If the accounts are not past the sol leave them alone until the sol runs out. Remember once the sol runs out, they can't get judgements, ect. What worked best for me, is I started with all the accounts that were past the sol. I sent validation letters, then I disputed with the CRA's. Remember if they cannot validate the debt they must remove it. I never called one collection company, I did everything via mail certified return receipt. I created a paper trail for every collection account on my reports. The final analysis was i was able to get all of them removed, with the exception of 3. One is a cap one charge off from 1995 which will fall off this year, another is a collection from one of Experian's collection agencies, and last but not least is Gulf State. I am dealing with Gulf State right now. I have them by the short and curlies...so I am in no hurry. Bottom line-Get all three reports-Organize collection accounts that are past the sol. Hold off on accounts that are not past the sol. Start disputing. If the bureau verifies it as accurate, send them a letter for proceedures used (certified return receipt) Give them the alotted 15 days. Start your paper trail with violations. It took me two years. Equfax beacon went from 450 to 660 or so, No collection accounts a few accounts wtih lates. TU my score is 725, Experian is the worse with 609. But I have 2 major derogs coming off this year so hopefully my score will jump to the 660+. Hope this helps, good luck to you and your friend. Tell her to hang in there and get to work.
I think it is commendable of you to be so concerned about your friend. If you feel that you may be beating your head against a brick wall so to speak which if she does not learn and understand the importance of paying her bills on time during the process you would be. Maybe you could take her out for lunch and a serious conversation. Explain to her how very mcuh you care, how gaining good credit is going to demand and require commentment and sacrific from her. Offer to help her set up a budget (sacrifice) and for commentment that she pays her bills on time for three months and shows you that she has at which point you will begin to help her clean up her reports. As continued commentment have her continue to show that she is paying on time as long as she does so you will be able to help her if she can not stick to the commentment you are free to stop attempting to clean up her reports. Hopefully by the time her reports are cleared up she will have established the habit of paying things on time. You seem very diplomatic I am sure you can convey your concerns to her. if she is not willing to make the sacrific and commentment to carry through there is really nothing you can do to help her in this. Best of luck!!! gigi
Thanks everyone for your thoughts and words of wisdom. I like the idea of her putting in effort before me - i.e. showing that she can pay her bills on time for a few months before I begin to help her... that would show some good intentions on her part. I *really* like that idea!!!! I know that I can't help her unless she wants help... but it drives me nuts!!!! So far, we're not off to a good start - her cell phone got turned off today, so she called me from a neighbor's phone... and it's long distance.. on someone else's phone!!!!! I told her I'd call her back on my dime becuase I didn't want her running up another friend's phone bill, but between what dawned on me after I read what I wrote and the comments from everyone else, and her not showing a whole lot of concern for running up a long distance bill today, I think I may have to let my offer to help her wait for a bit - it saddens me, but alas, she's a grown woman and at some point it's gotta dawn on her that paying bills on time is part of being a stable adult. I don't mean to portray her as a bad person - she's not by any means - she's very kindhearted and intelligent, but my gosh, she's dumber than a rock when it comes to finances! <g> She'd give you her last penny in her wallet... and then she'd write a bad check just to be able to give you *more* money. If only good intentions and a genuine heart earned you FICO points.... Thanks again everyone - I'm really thankful that you folks took the time to help me see the light in this situation. Ozzy.
Here is some applicable anecdotal wisdom borrowed from 12-step programs: 1) You can't fix anybody else. (Doc's addendum: And sometimes, that goes for their credit as well.) 2) You can't make anybody else stop [fill-in-the-blank]. Otherwise, you're liable to find out that you're endangering your own recovery. (Doc's addendum: If fixing other people's bad habits was that easy, somebody else would have fixed your problem a long time before you finally discovered your own answers.) 3) Sure, you can keep Aunt Edna from getting drunk at your house this Christmas, but that won't keep her sober come New Year's. (Doc's addendum: Sure, you can fix a few items from her credit report, but that will be negated when she forgets to pay Sears next week.) 4) Keep your boundaries straight. (Doc's addendum: It's so easy to get wrapped up in trying to help somebody else, especially when it's someone about whom you care deeply. Unfortunately, if you're not careful, you can wrap up yourself so tightly that you suffocate.) 5) Until they hit bottom, they won't change, and some people's bottoms are unbelievably low. (Doc's addendum: As bad as it's been for her at times, it sounds like your friend hasn't quite yet hit her own credit-related version of "bottom" yet.) Doc
Wow. I really like the way you put that... I think I'll print the whole thing out at put it on my wall Myschae
