Re: OH NO! To all : Please extend your concern and sympathies as you cannot believe the distress and humiliation that I have endured in my short but failed marriage to Collector1. Two minutes, I think that may be a record of sorts. Collector1 talks much better than her performs his marital duties, I guess he's not in much control as he thought he was. What a disappointment. I told those Toyota finance people it would be easier to get me my own vehicle to haul things than it would be to find a husband and stay married to him, but what was I to do? I saw him in his Credit Police uniform, and well...you know how a man in uniform makes us female types weak in the knees. I just had to try some of that. I think, however, that Pulse is going to let ME be the godmother to her baby. I am thrilled and excited, I cannot wait until BabyPulsePriss follows in her mother's footsteps:reknowned author, China tour guide and rescuer of newbies worldwide. What a legacy she will have to follow ! BTW, Do you think I can collect support from Collector1 ? I wouldn't need spousal support for long, just long enough for the courts to report it to the CRA's and post as past due and in a judgement status ( Hell hath no fury, and all that? ) What do you think? Also, I think I'm going to give that little BK lawyer that Pulse used a "courtesy call." She paid him a lot of $$$, and I can't recall that anything happened that helped her much. He should be able to afford a night out on the town, he has Pulse's retainer, and I think someone should benefit from her having to go declare BK, why not me? Wish me luck !! If I get to go , I'll drink a cosmopolitan and toast all the newbies uniting together. Kiss, kiss to all, Maggie
Re: OH NO! July 31, 2002 Senator B.L. Lowlife Dirksen Office Bldg. #Largest Corner Office Suite Washington, D.C. 12345 Dear Ms. Pulse, I'm in receipt of your letter timed and dated, July 31, 2002, 7:36 AM. I have noted your concerns regarding your significant other, collector1, and his fiduciary responsibilities to care for you and your soon to be born (due date August 1, 2002) baby. I am somewhat in amazement at your short gestation period but I have not kept up with the various health care legislation as I have been devoting all my time to the new bankruptcy reform bill, H.R. 333. H.R.333 when passed will make it impossible for Mr. collector1 to discharge monies owed from 1929 and on up to the date of filing. It has always aggravated we politicians that those 1929 folks got away with pratically extortion using the poor excuse of a stock market crash. We intend to stop these abuses in their tracks. In fact in my state, Lousiana, we are going to issue a bond to raise money for a new state of the art debtor's prison that will house deadbeats like your Mr. collector1. It really is a shame that Mr. collector1 is trying to avoid his child support obligation as in all other respects he sounds like the type of person we need to educate the credit consuming public in the errors of their ways. I wanted to get this off to you before I leave for summer recess. I am off to Luxurious Golf Resort, Honolulu, Hawaii paid in full by Willingtobribe National Bank and their lobbyists. This is a fine institution who refinanced my house at 10 times its value and at prime +.0000001% so I could pay my pain in the ass ex her unreasonable demands. So in closing, Ms. pulse, please sleep soundly tonight as your representatives in Congress are working late nights to ensure the future prosperity and happiness of their constituents. Yours most sincerely, Senator Bubba Leghorn Lowlife
Re: OH NO! now, now Butch >>>> do not be knocking poor little Pulse's salary. Remember she had all those glorious travel perks in addition to the $7.OO an hour. I think she also collected matchboxes from exotic places and ticket stubs from the transport vans used at the airport, and I am quite envious. I wish I had such an unusual and emotionally rewarding hobby. Alas, I bet Pulse can no longer fly, at least not for the 3 week gestation required to get the future BabyPulsePriss all her fingers, toes, and piece parts. You know,it's a laborious procress to be thrust into the secret society of Future Newbie CreditNetters. I think if Pulse takes up too much room on either side of her seat, that they will make her purchase an extra ticket. I bet with her limited resources, and those of her CourierServices boss, she's probably having to retire from traversing the friendly skies for now. Additionally, I want you to know that I do not appreciate all the world knowing my private business about my failed marriage to JohnM. It was so emotionally devestating, no wonder I was on the rebound and vulnerable to the charms of Collector1. Since someone on the board felt like they knew my business, and assumed some things, and they don't, >>> well, this has been going on a long time, just like Pulse and her trials and tribulations with Arrow Financial, so I will set the record straight. Yes, I was in love with the manly man JohnM. Oh, what a wit, what charm, what a broad vocabulary ! I could read his emails and his catchy little love notes tacked to my windshield of my new little Matrix and I just got all a tingle just sounding out all those letters that he so eloquently strung together. But how was I to know that he had hired a "Cyrano the Big Nose" to lure me into love? It was Cyrano was writing those notes, and who did I discover penning a plea to me? Cyrano was none other than JohnM's partner, Doc. I was so crushed, but fortunately I was only married for 45 seconds, and I rebound quickly. Pulse taught me a lot, and I am grateful to her for sharing her husbands with me, even if one broke my heart, and the other ....well, you know the disappointment there. Do you think that the CreditNet experts will send me enough money that I can get Baby PulseMiss her own fax machine and a subscription to CreditWatch as a christening gift? I feel a strong obligation to give her what she will need to follow in her mother's successes as a protector of all newbies. Gotta go, the BK lawyer is at my door. Night on the town, here we go,
Re: OH NO! Dear Maggie- OHMYGOD....I had such a crush on JohnM I am so happy that you have outted him for the man he really is! Well I guess I will have to settle for creditnet Hunk #2, Butch. He might not have the charm and je ne ce quois as JohnM but he has, in his own words, a two foot high stack of consumer credit law research. Now this is a man after my own heart. My heart palpitates rapidly thinking of the times he and I could spend together reading and interpreting all that research. I mean who needs sex when you can intellectually intercourse over Spears v Brennan. Now I just have to think of a way to attract his attention...maybe a private subscription to Lexis! I'm applying to law school this year...do you think a pre-jd2b has anything to offer a successful CFP from Ohio? Thinking of ways to lure Butch is keeping me awake at night so, Maggie, if you have any girlish advice on methods I could use I certainly would appreciate it. Anxiously awaiting your reply, clc
Re: Troll Oopsies! I frgettd. Did that already. Now I can extend my trips an xtra week. Mybe stop in Japan; go to Tokyo Disny.
Re: Troll Actually I think pulse is continue to go to china, even tho her wage is $7.25, she gets lots of free peanuts for the babypulsepriss. I know you are thinking she can't eat peanuts, but I think most debt collectors just chew up the food and spit it in the youngs mouth.
career counseling for Pulse, it's the least we can do ??? >>>> post by Pulse [Read my treads and you be the judge. What would have you done?] Creditnetters, do you think Pulse is training to be an off-road racer, or training for the Tour de France? or is she training to be a forensic detective specializing in Michelin and Continental 15inch/ 17 inch radials? what tread am I supposed to read? I was SO WORRIED about Pulse, but then I went back and read her Diary entries and I no that she nos that she will probably go back to her exboyfriend. After all, he ran up all her credit cards and probably has a beautifully furnished hideaway in Hawaii. I bet he will let her hula for the tourists during the day, while he babysits BabyPulsePriss, and then she can pretend that he is manly man JohnM while she slumbers under the futon bought in Japan. (You know, the really silky one that Pulse purchased on the the way back from her last trip to China.) If you have any suggestions for Pulse for a new career, something where she could watch BabyPulsePriss for the next 45 minutes ,until she is into kindergarten and graduates from Junior High, then I suggest that you post your ideas here. BTW, CLC, I am SO SORRY that you, too, had your heartbroken by JohnM, but even though Pulse nos that there are know more good men around, we can choose to think differently, can't we?. And I agree that Butch would make a hunka-hunka of love. I bet you could take the certification tests to be a Financial Planner and make BIG points with him. Also, send him a new cartridge for his printer, he loves to print and print, and oh yea, let him know how much you love a man who knows how to spell FCRA. Personally, I am going to just follow along behind Pulse for a while, recycling her rejects. It's less time and trouble than having to take the initiative to have first call, rather than leftovers. Maybe one of these days I'll have as much self esteem and assurance as she does and I, too, can no what it is to no that I am a good catch. I may need a loan from the newbies. Had to take their future advocate goddaughter BAbyPulsePriss shopping for gown for SeniorProm today. Boy, has she grown up fast. Pulse and JustMe are so proud and I guess that Collector1 is pretty damn proud of her, too, even tho he doesn't pay a dime in support, and he credit has been tanked because of the court judgements. Marci and Breeze said they saw him at a Credit Police convention the other day, they were crossing the street in front of hotel, and he was wearing his old uniform (even though he couldn't get the jacket buttoned up and his zipper had safety pins to put some extra inches in the waistband. ) How sad that he still hangs on to his symbols of control. Well, gotta go for now. Am supposed to meet Doc at the sushi shop. Even though Pulse never had first dibs on him, I would make an effort on my own, maybe he could validate me like Pulse got validated. Wouldn't that be something to write to the CreditNetters Board about? I know I am fickle, but that's the way we can be, especially when we have good role models to follow. PS BK lawyer acted like he didn't make any money off of Pulse, so I had to buy my own drinks. No more time wasted on that. PSS George sent Pulse a new keyboard, since his new computer came with one, and he didn't mind using the old one with the stuck key. She says [WILL BE THRILLED AS SOON AS IT COMES. THANK YOU GEORGE.]
Re: OH NO! Hey, hey don't talk about my ex-man that way! Even though he dumped me and married Maggie (I was there at the wedding, I was the one that was screaming "JohnM, I love you, please don't do this'! before they threw me out of the church) I still have nothing but love for JohnM and hope one day that we'll get back together.
Re: OH NO! Dream Girl, I hope you can forgive me for my past sins. I never should have gotten involved with that Pulse person, it was her constant abuse of my good credit that caused my brief experiment in exploring my feminine side. I have now come to the realization that I could be a manly man and have credit problems. My worth as a man is not just a FICO number or a credit grade. What an epiphany that was, it was life changing. I also found out I wasnâ??t cut out for a life in San Fran. You havenâ??t seen such cattiness as when two pre-op trans-sexuals start arguing about the best CC for BT after a BK of the number 20 type with a FICO of 643 and 20K of out of SOL debt along with 10 derogs and a CO for $3,200 on your tri-merged report. Oh Boy, The fur would fly and the claws were out and you know that I hate Drama (other than the Broadway kind). I never stopped loving you and I only ran from our wedding to spare you the pain of a marriage to a credit addict. I am now â??A friend of Alâ? (Al Greenspan), his Creditholics Anonymous has been a godsend. I am a changed man, one day at a time, I face my credit problems and have hope for the future. I have been saved, picked up from the gutter of the street of broken promises to pay, and delivered to the land of 401Kâ??s by ALâ??s wisdom. That guy is a saint. I hope you can find it in your heart to take me back. I am on bended knee, handing you my heart, willing to accept your decision. Love Always, JohnM Ps you will always be my DreamGirl no matter what!
Re: career counseling for Pulse, I've been trying to figure out what's the source of Butch's aminal magmatism. I think I've got it. It's those initials after his name. Very cool. So, I decided to get some of my own. CCN. Certifiable CreditNetter. Feel free to use it for a small fee of 5 FICO points on each CR. Very reasonable, considering the perks. Frequent trips to China, Japan, and a sushi joint in San Francisco, as well as endless shameless flirtation can be yours for a mere fifteen FICO points. BTW, I haven't figured JohnM out at all yet. Also, BTW, you're all invited to pulse's retirement party and wake. Everyone who's anyone will be there. Sigmund Freud, Chairman Mao, Mr.Clean, and The Tidy Bowl Man (the guest of honor) are coming. We'll all gather 'round the bowl (porcelain is a kind of china, isn't it?) at the appointed hour, reflect on the fast, but glorious life of pulse, then, we'll flush her. After that, we'll draw straws to see who gets her frequent flyer miles and sing Ding, Dong, The Witch Is Dead and Uptown Girl.
Re: career counseling for Pulse, Well CCN was a dismal failure. Not one shameless flirtation. Hmm. Maybe it's that those are all soft consonants, whereas, our tres cool Mr. Butch has one soft consonant and two hard consonants after his name, and with an "F" in the middle, no less. Perhaps that's a more manly mix. So, henceforth, my new macho initials after my name will be.... . . . Drum Roll... . . . BFD, which, of course, stands for Big Farging Disputer. . . Same pricing structure, BTW.
To Quixote NO< NO< NO impatient manly man, you just did not give the shameless flirts enough time to respond to your CCN addition after your name. ....just like a manly man, always on YOUR time schedule rather than letting the woman drive while you just sit back and relax. HMMM, HMMM,HMMM I definitely am into "CNN," I like to keep up with the news, so I will just adjust the moniker just a smidge, and keep up with "CCN" as well. (You don't come across in short 2 minute bits, do you? I have already been there, done that with Collector1.) You know we blondes only have a limited number of brain cells, and this way I can minimize the space required to keep up with you, since CNN and CCN are just so close to the same thing, My Oh My. And yes, I am looking forward to keeping up with you and getting FICO points as a bonus. Get out the vodka and cranberry juice. I am really kinda of leery of anything labelled "butch" no offense to our esteemed financial planner, but that label doesn't match my personal style. I am more into manlyman types such as you and JohnM. BTW, where is DOC? he hasn't been kidnapped by Pulse, has he? OMG!!!!! what a horrible thought? do you think we need to send out a search and rescue to see if anyones nos where he might be and if knot, then we should weary, weary, weary about him? I can't imagine that he wouldn't be concerned about the mental health of all on this thread, scuse me tread, I mean. kiss, kiss gotta go, but I will check back later this PM to see if Doc has shown up. Maybe he had to go catch tuna and octopus for the sushi bar. Or maybe he travelled up the coast to try to get sum of those washed up squid, you no....cents they wood be free and awl. if you see dreamgirl, tell her and CLC that I am thinking of opening up my own personal advice column and hiring Pulse and her children to be my fill in's, just like Jay Leno used to do for Johnnie. I bet they would be just like Dear Abby and her daughter. special kisses to you, Quixote, you special label CCN, you (and don't forget my FICO points, ) Maggie
Re: OH NO! Dearest JohnM, how I have longed for the day when you would say those words (not the part about the transexuals though, not that theres anything wrong with that but thats another subject). Anyhow, of course I forgive you. Knowing you for the 4 hours that I knew you, I got to understand how kind and loving you were and how you obviously taken in by Pulse's desire to rule you just like she attempted to rule all newbies. Let's not ever let another Puss, er, Pulse person come between us again, not for all Fico points on a Beacon score, not for all the tea in China, not for all the water under the bridge, not for..., well, you get my drift. And yes, I will be your dreamgirl until the very last derog falls off your reports and even then some, my darling.
Re: OH NO! Why, oh Why are you willing to go back with her, and not with me? After all, I loved you for 4 hours and 15 minutes, longer than her, and I did give you credit (no pun intended) for utilizing Doc to write all those wonderfully loving and insightful mush notes to me... We were SO young and such newbies at the art of love, I guess the timing was just all wrong. BTW, you know Doc is such a sensitive soul, you really could (and should) learn something more than the restaurant business from him. And are you certain that Pulse and her duplicitous daughters haven't kidnapped him, DON'T YOU EVEN CARE? Please know that I want you to be happy. If Dreamgirl can do that for you, well, fine. But I would like to know that we will always be friends. You did know how to mix a mean martini. Loved you once, still kind of into you (except when I'm thinkin' about my CCN Quixote) , Yours truly, Maggie
