Smogtek, Don't let your wife's negativity keep you away from the board. You did the best that you could do under the circumstances. We don't know what went on or under what pressure you were under. This board needs people like you, NOT your wife's kind. Don't think that she has shamed you, because she has shamed herself. Charlie
Smogtech, where are you? Don't let this post keep you from coming back. I for one have enjoyed your company here and from all else that has been said here, it looks like the others feel the same.
misunderstandings about finances are the leading cause of divorce..... we don't talk about how to mix marriage and money enough... I am sure that smogtek's desire to rehab his credit is appreciated, but as one who has had the experience of dealing with a dh who has made some terrible financial decisions and made a conscious decision to work through them, I can understand Ms. jo's frustation. I encourage jo and smogtek to continue to work through their financial issues and repair and rebuild their credit and their relationship.... I salute jo for hanging with smogtek, throughout all the financial difficulties including the court situation. (she was there with him... if she didn't support him, she could have just went to work)
Diva- THANK YOU! I've been trying to figure out how to say exactly that without being rude. I too have a dh that has some spending issues and has made some bad financial decisions in the past. You need to work through them. Honestly I don't think Jo was coming on here to be a b*tch, I think she was trying to tell you what you SHOULDNT do. Jo and Smogtek- As much as you may think life sukcs right now, it can ALWAYS be worse. My dh and I are BOTH unemployed but you know what? One of us could be dead (there's a silver lining there somewhere). It can only get better. Smog- Head up we're here for you and your wife. Jo- Welcome to the board!
I consider it frustration. I also consider it helping other Creditnetters. I'm almost positive the same thing could happen to me or my dh. I become a BIG pushover whenever someone starts double talking or smooth talking.
To bring up all the things she says happened in the past and basically try to make him look bad, is not support. Whether that was the intent or not, it was IMO out of line.
she obviously is frustated by her dh's lack of consistency when it comes to finances and she vented it here. Even with all of the problems they have had, they are still together and she obviously was in court with him. If she didn't support his A$$ she would have left him, when any one or combination of the incidents she described occurred..... she hasn't ... so instead of adding fuel to the fire of a contentious situation, let's help them rebuild and repair their credit so that is one less issue they have to deal with in the marriage (marriage is hard enough when you have enough money and perfect credit)
Recommended reading. "People Of The Lie" M. Scott Peck PhD The first scientific study of the existence of human evil. WARNING! It Is NOT A Nice Book!
Two rules my wife and I agreed on before we got married. Never, ever, ever, ever say the "D" word. Not even in joking. And we don't. Never. And, Never do our dirty laundry in public. It's worked for thriteen years and counting.
Well, like Claygo, I don't post much either but this one is one I just can't let go.... If I had a spouse like Jo, you bet I'd be nervous and doubting myself - knowing she (he in my case) was standing there criticizing every move I make. And to have the audacity to talk about him like that here where he's contributed so much. Support,IMO, is not public mockery and complete disrespect. Sheesh, unfreakingreal
Quixote, Your right on with the "dirty laundry" comment. As for Jo, if she's having problems in her relationship regardless of what they are, she & her significant other need to work them out between themselves. Not bring them to a bulletin board on the web. Just my opinion.
Wow! My ex-wife and I had financial problems. Could't get her to help tow-the-line to speak. Do matter how much planning and budgeting I tried, she would spend what she wanted to spend, and then bitch when we didn't have the money for a trip to Paris. No matter how many times I tried to explain the connection between the lack of cash in the savings account for fun, and her inability to rein in her spending, she didn't get it. That was tough on the marriage, but not a reason to get divorced. I just had to take control of all spending and fight about it all the time. But when she decided to blab to her family and friends about our marriage problems, deeply personal issues, that was pure betrayal. I can never forgive her for that. That is why she is now the ex-Mrs Cable. There are somethings things that should be kept between a man and wife.
Exactly. No matter how "frustrated" she is, you do not make it public, anonymous or not. Very classless. Unless of course, this whole thing is a scam job.
I would rather my husband blab to the whole internet world how horrible of a cook I am, that I'm a bad lay, that I cheat on him what have you, then tell my friends and family. Agree to disagree? Us bickering over what Mrs. Smogtek did isn't going to help them, it's only going to fuel it more
allllrighty then, things sure do get . . errrr.. . saucy this time of night. ( i'll leave the 50 things that immediately popped into my mind right where they are) humblemarc
