COMPETITIVE SALARY -We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors. JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY -We have no time to train you. CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE -We don't pay you enough to expect that you'll dress nicely. MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED -You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day. MUST BE FLEXIBLE -On many occasions, you'll be asked to bend over and grab your ankles. SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED -Some time each night and some time each weekend. DUTIES WILL VARY -Anyone in the office can boss you around. MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL -We have no quality control. CAREER-MINDED -Female employees must be childless (and remain that way). APPLY IN PERSON -If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled. NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE -We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality. SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE -You'll need it to replace the three people who just left. PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST -You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos. REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS -You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect. GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS -Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.
IT JOB POSTING COMPUTER TECHNICIAN Fast paced environment with multiple platforms. Need self starter who can hit the ground running with 3 plus years experience and a four year degree to start immediately. NT and Sun Solaris required. MCSE desirable. Some hardware knowledge required. Some travel required. Only local candidates considered. Novell Netware knowledge a plus. Six months temp to perm $45,000. WHAT THIS MEANS: This is a frantic environment in a constant state of chaos where the person who would have been your manager just quit with one weeks notice. Within two days on this job you will have a desk, computer, pager, cell phone, and the need for ant acid pills because you will be the man, the fix it man, before you know where they keep the tech manuals. This environment uses all three of the major types of operating systems and probably two different types of databases so if you don't know Windows 2000 and at least one variant of UNIX the day you start, you will be studying them on weekends if you want to keep your job. You might want to study Oracle and SQL databases as well as Cisco routers in your spare time if you can find any. Some knowledge of hardware required could mean anything from pulling cable to unloading the truck. Don't be surprised if you will be helping out moving all the workstations on some Friday night and Saturday. Only local candidates considered is a code for: You will be on 24-7 beeper duty, all or some, of the time and you must live within 40 minutes of the place or your plants will die. Some travel required means they have more than one location and if you live alone, don't plan on having pets because they will starve. Remember, the best two ways to kill a pager are to drop out your car window or to drop it in the toilet. Time at work regular hours = 52 per week Time on call including driving = 8 per week if you lucky Time studying tech manuals = 4 per week Time studying certifications = 10 per week Time spent commuting = 7 per week -------------------------------- Total work related time = 81 hours per week $ per hours equivalent = $10.81.
