CREDIT CARD APPLICATIONS So you have received a credit card application? You know what it says, but do know what it really means? What it says: "You have demonstrated financial responsibility..." What it means: You're breathing! What it says: "Our membership is difficult to obtain..." What it means: Death row prisoners are not eligible... in most states! What it says: "We have shortened the application process..." What it means: "We need lots of new members fast or we'll go out of business!" What it says: "You have no predetermined credit limit..." What it means: "We're not worried, we employ the Break Your Legs collection agency." What it says: "Exceptional Customer Service..." What it means: Except when you need it! What it says: "Trained customer representatives await your call..." What it means: "This is the part you talk into, and this is where you listen. Any questions?" What it says: "To apply for membership, fill out this short form..." What it means: You'll get the long form later. What it says: "You may direct us not to share this information with anyone else..." What it means: "Catch us, if you can!" What it says: "We look forward to receiving your completed application..." What it means: "We baited the hook, let's see if anyone bites!" What it says: "You've been pre-approved..." What it means: "You've been pre-approved to be Rejected!" or "We've already prepared your letter of denial."
