Crooks Country Bank

Discussion in 'Credit Talk' started by Shantel, Jun 30, 2001.

  1. Shantel

    Shantel Well-Known Member

    Now isn't this funny. In the mail today, I get a pre-approval for a GOLD (oh boy!) CCB credit card. Then on the back it says, (get this) "We don't offer this to everyone. We take our preapprovals very seriously". I fell out laughing...while tearing it into little pieces.

    On another note, I got a "sorry" letter from Amex for Students because I don't attend one of their approved schools. They didn't even pull my CR (thank goodness).

    Next stop, Amex green (later this year).
  2. dogman

    dogman Well-Known Member

    Re: Crooks Country Bank / BENEFITS

    Hi Shantel!!
    You know I can never pass a CCB post :)
    GOLD huh?

    OK here I go:

    Cross County Bank Gold benefits:

    can use anywhere
    can get cash advances
    competitive interest rate 47% fixed
    air travel insurance*
    GOLD plastic- show your friends a GOLD CARD $100
    credit limits from $25 to $200
    cash advance fee $100 min - 100% maximum
    credit limit increases considered for $100
    lost cards replaced within 90 days for $100
    expedite fee for lost card - 88 days $100
    overlimit fee $100
    underlimit fee $100
    talk to a rep fee $100
    talk to a rep and talk to CLEO while on hold fee $100
    be stalled and put on hold with CLEO sub fee $100
    rep disconnect call after on hold fee $100
    rep disconnect call during call on hold fee $100
    rep always put customer on hold fee $100
    rep farting while on hold fee $100
    rep farting near Lake of Fire while on hold fee $100
    rep not answer at all fee $100
    Bentley maintenance fee $100
    "Lake of Fire" bill disposal and loss ctr fee $100
    "Chihuahua" kennel breeding fee $100
    receive a paper bill in the mail fee $100
    lose a paper bill in the mail fee $100
    don't send a paper bill in the mail fee $100
    don't create a bill fee $100
    stamp on envelope processing fee - monthly $10
    send bill to correct address fee $100
    send bill to any address fee $100
    send any bill to correct address fee $100
    send any bill to any address fee $100
    correct any of the above fee $100
    correct none of the above fee $100
    email posting prevention fee $100
    SERIOUS Pre-approval one time fee $100
    Pre-Approval fee $100
    prophylactics for Rocco in jail with his buddy fee $100
    CCB exec san quentin cell maintenance fee $100
    cell with a view of daylight fee $100
    Rocco grope protection in the shower fee $100
    roadside construction to Lake of Fire fee $100
    off-hook sarcasm by dogman fee $100

    *air travel insurance - pays $100 upon proof of death in an aircraft above 100,000 ft on a commercial flight on USAIR if they ever build that aircraft and if they ever decide that this flight will exist and if that event occurs before the 48 hour termination date of this policy and such notification will be provided to a Cross Country Bank Gold representative in person at the back of their offices at PO Box 1111, New York NY during normal CCB business hours of EST 1PM - 1:15 PM - fee $100

    Accept your Gold Card now!

    I thought this was well done for early Saturday morning LOL!

    LEN - ??????

    fondest wishes to all for a NICE weekend - dogman
  3. marci

    marci Well-Known Member

    Re: Crooks Country Bank / BENEFITS

    rotflol! How funny!

    Dogman, you should be careful. CCB will probably see your post and swipe it for their next marketing brochure. :)
  4. dogman

    dogman Well-Known Member


    Thanks for the compliment Marci - these CCB GOLD benefits just really can't even be compared to AMEX!!

    warmest regards - dogman
  5. Mike2

    Mike2 Well-Known Member


    I got the same offer a few days ago. Mine met 'the shredder' within seconds of seeing the 'CCB' name. I also just got an offer from First Premier and First Bank Of Marin. I must be on the subprime most wanted list.
  6. brad

    brad Well-Known Member

    I received a preapprovial from CCB for a 200 limit.I asked them if they could lower it by a 100,because I did not feel comfortable with such a high limit.
  7. dogman

    dogman Well-Known Member

    Did they charge a $100 fee to do that? LOL!
    I thought I did write this well this am!!!

    best regards - dogman
  8. Len

    Len Member

    Re: Crooks Country Bank / BENEFITS

    Excellent, Dog!
    You have made my day with that one.
    I am about to patent an 11 foot pole that's specially designed to handle Cross Country applications. I used a lousy ten foot model, the one everyone warns you never to touch CCB applications with, and it did turn out to be one of the biggest financial mistakes of my life.

  9. dogman

    dogman Well-Known Member

    Thank you LEN!

    I hope I didn't understate any of the fees - for $100 fee - I can call a REP - who will put me on hold - while waiting I will pay a fee of $10 per minute to be on hold with MS CLEO while I ....... I thought I tied many stories together well for the newly preapproved virginic group!

    best regards my friend - dogman
  10. dogman

    dogman Well-Known Member


    We are happy that this board is teaching you to be responsible with the use of credit. Many people do not realize how big a responsibilty it is to have that kind of credit line available!

    What if you lose your job or your wife comes back?
    What if you are arrested in a bar in Austin TX, drinking with the Bush Twins - Jenna and whoever?
    You can bet that cute groupies will be following you with that sort of a credit line.

    Be very careful and do not go near Las Vegas with that sort of available cash. Jeez we praise your decision - making in this difficult matter!

    Thank you very much from us all here - dogman
  11. curiouser

    curiouser Well-Known Member

    Re: Crooks Country Bank / BENEFITS

    Fabulous Dogman!

    I think you left out the following:

    General incompetence fee: $5 per day, interest of 5% compounded hourly.

    Customer complaint fee: $20 per complaint. Each subsequent complaint after zero (0) will result in an automatic doubling of said complaint fee.

    MUZAC entertainment charge: $5 per minute. (Please note: this fee is in addition to our customary $100 waiting on hold fee.)

    Customer rudeness fee: $50 per incident. In the event of customer incivility to our highly trained customer service representatives, the offending customer will be charged $50 per incident. This fee is to be accessed at the sole discretion of our highly trained customer service representatives. Complaints about this fee will result in an automatic doubling of the fee, as well as assessing an additional complaint fee.

    In addition to these benefits, CCB gold customers will receive a T-shirt boldly proclaiming: "I bent over for CCB." Imagine the pride you'll feel letting the world know that you are a proud member of Rocco's family.
  12. dogman

    dogman Well-Known Member

    Re: Crooks Country Bank / BENEFITS

    I particularly like the MUZAK fee - that was delightful;
    how could I have not listed the rudeness fees.
    I thought those were 50% more when you had

    thank you for your poignant response - I feel better!
    best wishes for a big bang of a firecracker weeK!

  13. Cadillac408

    Cadillac408 Well-Known Member

    You guys are cRaZy!!

    I am dying over here....ROFLMBAO!!!!

    I got the CCB Gold offer in the mail yesterday. I didn't even bother opening it went straight to the trash....mainly because they play the commercial for the card every 20 minutes on BET so I already knew all the terms, etc.
  14. MT

    MT Well-Known Member

    Re: Crooks Country Bank / BENEFITS

    I'm just dying at your MS CLEO comment, ugh, that commercial.
  15. dlo64

    dlo64 Well-Known Member

    Re: Crooks Country Bank / BENEFITS

    Hey, don't forget. Ms. Cleo will say "I see that you recently received an offer for a credit card." To which you on the other end start to say uh huh. Ms. Cleo replies "You know the one I'm talking about, but you blew it! That was a good offer and you messed it up." "You had a good credit card offer and you let it go!" Further enticing you to take the CCB offer ASAP because Ms. Cleo says it will bring good things to your life!

    Now I can see all of you out there that put that offer into the are desperately trying to glue all that confetti back together so you don't have bad luck! ROFLMAO Don't forget you will need to beg for an increase in your limit so you can afford the further sessions with Ms. Cleo.

    Sorry, couldn't resist. This thread is hilarious!
  16. Len

    Len Member

    Re: Crooks Country Bank / BENEFITS

    Curiouser, I would be
    indeed honored to tell
    the world that I had
    such an intimate
    relationship with Rocco
    and his boys. If only
    my t-shirt hadn't been
    lost in the mail and
    Cross Country records
    hadn't shown I not only
    received the shirt, but
    that I had worn it
    several times. I
    assume someone is having the time of their life with my Rocco shirt right now.
    Of course, Cross Country customer service just said I'm a deadbeat who wanted more shirts for nothing, that I abuse shirts, and that I should try paying my bills on time for a change.
  17. dogman

    dogman Well-Known Member

    Hi DLo 64

    outstanding additional upgrades!
    bravo - dogman
  18. breeze

    breeze Well-Known Member

    Re: Hi DLo 64


  19. MikeG

    MikeG Well-Known Member

    I received the same offer this week. I found the insert about it being a serious offer funny also.

    Mike G.

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