Fun with a Telemarketer

Discussion in 'General Lounge' started by Erica, Oct 15, 2001.

  1. Erica

    Erica Well-Known Member

    Even if you do half of this on a telemarketer, it would be pretty funny....

    One thing that has always bugged me, and I'm sure it does most of you, is to sit down at the dinner table only to be interrupted by a phone call froma telemarketer. I decided, on one such occasion, to try to be as irritating to them as they were to me. This particular call happened to be from AT&T and it went something like this:
    Me: Hello
    AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T...
    Me: Is this AT&T?
    AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T...
    Me: This is AT&T?
    AT&T: Yes This is AT&T...
    Me: Is this AT&T?
    AT&T: YES! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr. Byron please?
    Me: May I ask who is calling?
    AT&T: This is AT&T.
    Me: OK, hold on.
    At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that,
    surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to
    my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting.
    Me: Hello?
    AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron?
    Me: May I ask who is calling please?
    AT&T: Yes this is AT&T...
    Me: Is this AT&T?
    AT&T: Yes this is AT&T...
    Me: The phone company?
    AT&T: Yes sir.
    Me: I thought you said this was AT&T.
    AT&T: Yes sir, we are a phone company.
    Me: I already have a phone.
    AT&T: We aren't selling phones today Mr. Byron. We would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.
    Me: Now, that's 10 cents a minute 24 hours a day?
    AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes, Sir,that's right! 24 hours a day!
    Me: Now, that's 10 cents a minute 24 hours a day?
    AT&T: That's right.
    Me: 365 days a year?
    AT&T: Yes sir.
    Me: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That's amazing!
    AT&T: We think so!
    Me: That's quite a sum of money!
    AT&T: Yes sir, it's amazing how it adds up.
    Me: OK, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560, and if you send an annual check, can I get a cash advance?
    AT&T: Excuse me?
    Me: You know, the 10 cents a minute.
    AT&T: What are you talking about?
    Me: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1,008 per week and $52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making payment.
    AT&T: Oh no, sir, I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay US 10 cents a minute.
    Me: Wait a minute, how do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10 cents a minute, that I'll give YOU 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme? I've read about things like this in the Enquirer, you know.
    AT&T: No, Sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for...
    Me: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please!
    AT&T: Sir, I don't think that is necessary.
    Me: I insist on speaking to a supervisor!
    AT&T: Yes, Mr. Byron. Please hold.
    At this point I begin trying to finish my dinner.
    Supervisor: Mr. Byron?
    Me: Yeth?
    Supervisor: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a minute program.
    Me: Is thist a Teeth & Teeth?
    Supervisor: Yes, Sir, it sure is.
    I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to suppress my laughter and I had to be careful not to produce a snort.
    Me: No, actually, I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan.
    Supervisor: OK, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who was helping you.
    Me: Thank you.
    I was on hold once again and managed a few more mouthfuls. I needed to
    end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone.
    AT&T: Hello Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in signingup for our plan?
    Me: No, but I was wondering -- do you have that "friends and family" thing? Because you can never have enough friends and I'm an only child and
    I'd really like to have a little brother...
    AT & T: Click
  2. KHM

    KHM Well-Known Member

    That was possibly the funniest thing I have ever read! Try this one, when a telemarketer calls, once you have established thats who it is, start BAAAing like a sheep. TM love it!
  3. Beaker

    Beaker Well-Known Member

    ROFLMAOPIP!!!!! I'll have to try that.

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