Due to some unfortunate circumstances with my job (long story) I have found myself in a really bad situation. I am drowning in debt and have more going out than is coming in each month. To make the situation worse is the fact that although I am married we share some bills and don't share others. We have house bills that we share, then we have our own credit cards and loans which we don't share. I have gotten myself so far in debt that I don't know what to do. I owe about $12k (payoff balance) at ridiculous interest rates 25%+ I am getting collection calls all day long (on my cell phone thank goodness) and here's the kicker. . . .MY HUSBAND DOESN'T KNOW AND I CAN'T TELL HIM!! To add fuel to the fire, we have a beautiful 3 year old and another one on the way in a few months. I am a MESS over this. I was just about to call a local Consumer Credit Counciling Center to get help, but I know that the creditors close out the acconts and that looks bad on a credit report. WHAT DO I DO? Do I fight the collection agencies calling me and try to dodge not paying? Do I file for bankruptcy? Do I go the route of CCCS? Telling me to tell my husband is not an option so please don't suggest that. WHAT DO I DO??? My husband is talking about wanting to move and the thought of shopping around for a mortgage makes me sick to my stomach with worry because I'll be dead! I can't be stressing over this because of the pregnancy, but I don't know what else to do. PLEASE any advice is greatly appreciated. -A
I don't even know if advice from this board is what you need. If you're that deep, I would have suggested BK. But your husband is going to find out sooner or later about this. I'm personally afraid because of the fact that you are more scared of your husband than you are of your creditors at this point. Perhaps marriage counseling is to be suggested.
CCCS May be your best bet. I used them years ago, & they helped get me back on track. BK is not going to be easy anymore due to the new regulations. I wish you luck in this pursuit!!!
1st thing...You know your Husband is going to find out eventually..So what to do..I personally would sit down and Let him Know the situation.Holding things back always makes it worse.. 2nd thing.. Learn about being Debt free. There are Good books on the subject. MY favorite is by Dave Ramsey.His book is called the Total Money Makeover.. Its has been instrumental in helping me get back to a life I use to live before MY Wife had the same thing happen in her life and put us in similar situation as yourself.. 3rd. Look closely at your CR. Check for inaccuracys.. 4th. Stop using your cards for more purchases if you have,nt already. 5th. Remember that BR can stay on your CR for 10 years.. But can haunt you forever.. 6th.Cut down on any frivilous spending. Lose Cable TV if you have it.Spend Less time on cell phone unless you have unlimited minutes.Stop fast food runs if its a normal thing in your day. Get the idea..There are many ways to get back control of the situation. There are ways to be able to get the money going to pays down debts.. These comments are not meant to Offend you in anyway. Just trying to get you to take a Breath and Calmly look at your situtation..If you Panic when bad things happen.Mistakes will follow..
Thank you all for your advice. Now, is CCCS a good option or will it hurt me as bad as a BK will? Also, we just transferred a credit card with a large balance FROM a card in both our names to a card with his name only (went from 25% to ZERO %) will that look good on my CR??
I personally would Not file BK or Use CCCS.. 12k is not near as bad an amount as some I,ve seen on this site. Have your debts already been sent to CAs as bad debts/charge offs.?Or are you just late on payments.? Can you transfer more of your card debts to the lower interest card.?
BTW, CCCS actually hurts worse than a BK. ... because it's really not very smart. So now we're not only broke but stupid too. lol
I don't know if you guys saw Oprah a few weeks back. She featured a woman who was drowning in debt since her husband knew nothing of her addiction to gambling. When she shared this with her hardworking husband he was devastated. You have to let him know, but I would suggest that you devise a plan and let him know that you have plans A all the way to Z as how this can be fixed and give yourself a realistic time frame. Another thing to do is to get as current as possible on all accounts. Call and negotiate payments. Ask for an option to defer a payment for one month, or reaffirmation of your account given your pregnancy (which if you are near the end, you aer going to the doctor quite a bit, thereby reducing your actual hours worked). Take the card/account with the highest interest rate and balance and pay as much above the minimum that you can and pay minimums on rest, After it is paid off, take the next card that has the highest APR and do them all until you can get rid of the debt. Things will work out. Keep your head up and let hubby know what's going on.
Do you currently own your home? If so and if there is equity I would sit down with your husband tell him the truth and look at a cash out re-fi to consolidate some of that debt. CCCS is worse than a BK and viewed by lenders as the same thing. Cedric CKALVESMAKI@1STMETRO.NET 888-383-0220 http://www.1stmetropolitan.com/littleton Licensed AL,AK,CA,CO,FL,IN,IW,MA,MI,MN,MD,NE,SD,VA,
Yes, I would say we do have equity (our home was appraised 2 years ago for about $30,000 more than we owe presently.) Although, the problem is that my husband would like to move in the next 6 months. He thinks we should downsize (we probably should) and live in a lower tax area in a home with a lower mortgage. It just breaks my heart because I love where we live and I love my house. . .but given the current situation I'm in that makes the most sense. The PROBLEM with this is that when we go for another mortgage - I'm afraid that nobody will give us one because of me and what I've done to my credit. IF he weren't hell bent on moving, I'd think about facing the music, telling him and doing just as you suggested.
If you're going to try for a mortgage, all the more reason that you HAVE to tell him about this NOW. First of all, a very wise counselor I know has told many couples that most divorces are caused by money, usually by keeping it separate. This person's advice, which has worked for virtually everyone who follows it, is that there is no YOUR money and MY money, only OUR money. If all of your money is joint and you handle it together, then when you had problems at your job your husband would be more aware and able to help. If you don't tell him and he finds a house, then you are turned down for a mortgage, it will be worse. Tell him now, sit down as a TEAM and figure out how to work this out.
Re: Re: HELP - I'm in BIG Trouble! Hedwig's right Ali. You simply must. After you do I believe I can help you. : )
