Re: Help!! Resp 4 Credit B4 Turned breeze, I'm sticking with what I suggested to him in my post above. I'm not suggesting he apologize to everyone here per clc14893, lol. I'm suggesting he settle for the $500. Where in my post did I use the word "confess" or suggest he repay the entire debt? There's a whole helluva lot of projection going on here.... So, Doc, why do you think he should wash your car? WHY are you suggesting that he volunteer in the French merchant marine for 6 years -- how would that help him? And, Doc, your suggestion that he just go ahead and get a sex change is WAY out of line... Doc
Re: Help!! Resp 4 Credit B4 Turned How is what he's doing (or thinking about doing or gonna try to do) any different that what other people on this board have done? Many people have indicated that they've gotten out of paying their debts - he's just looking for a viable out. I 100% do not agree with it, but how can anyone fault him for his thoughts and possible actions when it's been done so many times here???? Again, 'do as I say, not as I do'. Ozzy.
Re: Help!! Resp 4 Credit B4 Turned Well, to tell you the truth, Ozzy, I'm not being inconsistent at all. I'm fine with him settling. I'm not fine with him attempting to ditch the last little $500 on a technicality when he has an opportunity to legally settle the debt and put it behind him. What would that teach him? Doc
Re: Help!! Resp 4 Credit B4 Turned Doc, the 'do as I say, not as I do' wasn't directed at you! I was just speaking out of a generalization. Ozzy.
Re: Help!! Resp 4 Credit B4 Turned Doc, I agree with you... but again, what is different about him doing it as opposed to a 40 year old doing it?? Ozzy.
Re: Help!! Resp 4 Credit B4 Turned PsychDoc, I apologize if I misunderstood your post...but please get me right here...I am not condoning what he did...let's just say "to err is human to forgive divine" Every adult that impacts a young person's life is an important factor to them. From what I can tell from your posts you have little ones now...someday soon (and it comes sooner than you think) they will be out testing the waters and pushing the envelope. As parents/teachers we hope and pray they don't get hurt...and I can tell you this....my children can depend on me to be the least judgmental person in their lives. It is only in this way that young adult children share and communicate with you. Remember the quote "home is where you go when nobody else wants you". The deeper philisophical thought here is that one's parents or quasi-parent (any adult they respect) should be a haven to them. Now don't get me wrong...I don't mean molly-coddling anyone....and maybe your "come to jesus" method works...but as a mother I tend to lean to the protective aspect. Please accept my sincere apology if I have offended anyone as that certainly is not nor ever will be my intent. clc
Re: Help!! Resp 4 Credit B4 Turned I agree, okayyyyyyyyyyy? But not to teach him a lesson, LOL, because it will cause him the least amount of trouble. I didn't see, if you posted a suggestion as to the proper course of action in this case. I put "confess" in as an option (usually seen by very moral people as a part of making things right). I keep having to read this thread over and over to see why people are reacting the way they are. I go read, and think "what the....???" Why did so-and-so say that? And then I can't find the reason they said it. Ya know? Everyone was saying settle. I say settle, you sounded like you didn't think that was right. I dunno, I give up. I was reassuring the behind-the-scenes-emailers that you were pouring oil on the waters, and then you started stirring too, hahahaha!! When is Ozzyburger gonna get flamed? I have been waiting up for it.
Re: Help!! Resp 4 Credit B4 Turned Does anybody ever read my posts? I mean, I know I write too much. My wife is sitting here shaking her head saying the whole problem was that I wrote a novel rather than four crisp sentences. I'm defending against a litany of accusations that have nothing at all to do with what I advised the young man. To quote my message to the fellow: Paying the $500 for a fresh start may well start you on the path to more responsible behavior throughout your adult life. This is the right thing to do. This is a bizarre, bizarre, bizarre night. Doc
Re: Help!! Resp 4 Credit B4 Turned PS I did not suggest he apologize to everyone...I thought one of his posts was a little defensive and could have been interpreted to be disrespectful. clc
Re: Help!! Resp 4 Credit B4 Turned Oh Doc!! ROFLMAO!!! Come to Jesus? Sorry clc, can't resist. This gets funnier by the minute.
Re: Help!! Resp 4 Credit B4 Turned Well, being Jewish, I can assure you that I would never ask anyone to "come to Jesus." Second, clc43234, having worked with teenage drug addicts and alcoholics for many years, I learned just how deliberate and manipulative 17 year olds (and 21 year olds... and 41 year olds for that matter) can be when they wanna be. They tend to respect straight-talk and can spot molly-coddling as you put it a mile away. Third, if you read my post to him, you'll see that I acknowledged MY OWN immaturity, and you'll see that I mentioned that he was fortunate to have learned these lessons far sooner than did MANY OF US, etc. You just need to reread my post to him. I have no idea how you imagined that I was denying him protection or love. Please, clc83132, reread my post. Please. I'm really asking sincerely. Go back. Venus aligned with Mars when you read it the first time. Doc
Re: Help!! Resp 4 Credit B4 Turned He ran up the debt - he should pay it all. This is my point - he' already been given $2300 that's long gone - now he's able to settle for $500. That's not gonna teach him anything other than you can get out of debt if you blow it off long enough. I'm sorry... (and this isn't directed at anyone in particular) but when I was 18 I got a credit card and blew $3500 over the course of a few years (100% my fault of course). I spent until I was almost 28 paying off that thing. And then I get sorely annoyed when I read that someone can blow off their debt and settle for less than they paid for, dispute it, and get it off their report. I do not and will never condone that. That doesn't teach a 21 year old responsibility, nor does not paying back the entire amount. If a kid took 4 quarters out of the collection tray at church, would it be teaching the kid (or an adult) anything to put back only 3 of the quarters? Ozzy.
Re: Help!! Resp 4 Credit B4 Turned PsychDoc- You can just refer to me as clc...why are you being so condescending to me? I might not have experience as a counsellor to teens...but I raised a couple of them...that seems to count everywhere else???@@@!!! I think that this topic has been beat to death...can't we just agree to disagree??? Religion, politics and raising kids....all 3 controversial topics... clc
Re: Help!! Resp 4 Credit B4 Turned OK. That was it. I missed it. The air quality is bad here, maybe that's why I have to keep re-reading....
Re: Help!! Resp 4 Credit B4 Turned I got a chuckle outa this (no disrespect intended, CLC), but I've raised goats and chickens and cats and ducks - and in doing so, it doesn't make me a vet. I always remember my mom telling me that I didn't come with an instruction manual... and while I can feel your maternal instinct and nurturing nature through your posts, if someone is old enough to make a financial mistake, they are old enough to make it right. You'd indicated (basically) how proud you are of your 26 year old daughter trying to get her credit situated. Is she doing it out of a moral obligation or becuase she's 26 and would like to get a decent interest rate on a car or house? Nothing wrong with that, of course, trying to make good on your debts is admirable at any age and under any circumstance - but playing the 'he was a kid and kids make mistakes' issues doesn't wash with a $2800 debt. That would work fine if he stole a piece of candy, but not consciously ran up a debt and didn't pay it. Ozzy.
Re: Help!! Resp 4 Credit B4 Turned Ozzy, In answer to your question....no she does not need anything right now....she and her boyfriend have a lovely 3 bedroom condo in Las Vegas...and both have good jobs. She basically listened to her friends tales of woe re:credit and she decided on her own to get hers right. Fortunately it is no big deal...she rehabbed student loans...and we are waiting to hear from her college about a bill that neither of us know what it is...as the college never, ever sent us a bill. She has said if she owes it she wants to pay it...and her student loan is the grand total of $1,200 as she went to college on practically a full 4 year scholarship. My kids were typical teens...not angels...but not the worst...I dealt with drugs, sex and rock & roll just like all parents....and we all 3 survived it. Now they are responsible adults who probably make their mistakes...but are willing to "own" up to it. In my opinion...even with their human flaws...they are my greatest achievement. Thanks for your comments, Ozzy, clc
Re: Help!! Resp 4 Credit B4 Turned Ok, I've never raised chickens and goats, but I'm a father of two myself. Do I get extra points for being a dad? (Or, as my wife is suggesting here -- I wish she'd particpate directly, but she's shaking her head and laughing -- anyway, my wife says that I get points DOCKED for being a Dad on this board.) Doc
Re: Help!! Resp 4 Credit B4 Turned I think I used the term "parent" many times....my children never had a dad as he abandoned us when I was 8 months pregnant with my youngest daughter....so in a sense I was a "dad" too! clc
