Just received the card in the mail !! My wife added me as an AU, but I was very concerned that I might get denied because I had included Amex in a 92 BK. I paid them the debt which I had included in the BK (~$500) about 3 months ago. F***ing thrilled is an understatement at this moment. I haven't seen AMEX in almost 10 years. I think I'm gonna cry.... (would that be unmanly?) Chet
I am glad it worked out for you. When I eventually get remarried, I have no intention of ever mentioning my BK to my wife. As I recall you felt the same way. Congrats!!
That's wonderful, Chet. I'm mostly happy for you because you're so happy. Glad everything worked out.
Jim, I got married 8+ years after my BK. I never mentioned it to my wife because I figured that we would not be purchasing a house for a few years, or making any large purchases (which required joint credit) and there would be reason for us to intermingle our credit. I had calculated that by the time we were ready to purchase anything which required joint credit, my BK would be off my credit reports ( I wasn't trying to sneaky, it was just embarrassing for me - the BK!) She added my to her card without my knowledge. I came home one day from work and she was on the phone with AMEX adding me as an AU. I was mortified at the thought of being denied... Luckily it all worked out. Chet
Thanks MoM, She actually got the AMEX Platinum card, and added me as an AU with a gold card. An additional AMEX Platinum card is $150 year. An additional Gold card on the same account as a Platinum card is $35/year. I guess I'm not ready for the Platinum card yet Chet
Chet, That is exactly what I thought happened to you. A BK is embarrasing for many of us, (me included), no matter how valid and necessary it was at the time. I agree with you, there is no point in having to explain a BK to a wife. My BK is the only item in my lfe that I will not discuss with anyone except in the privacy bof this board. Congrats again!! AMEX gold is a handsome card.
Jim and Chet, I was married for the first time a little over a year and a half ago. Prior to our wedding, my husband nervously, and with great difficulty, confided to me about his BK. Jim, like you, my husband suddenly faced a severe health crisis and was unable to work for at least two years. Believe me! I didn't then...and certainly don't now...love him any less because of his BK disclosure. I'm glad he felt comfortable enough to share this difficult part of his life with me. I could empathize and it brought us closer. Additionally, I've been able to help my husband, as well as myself, from all of the valuable information and insight I've found on this board. Also, since we want to buy a house within the next year or so, I'm glad I know about the BK. That means I'll have to work doubly hard on getting my credit in tip-top shape. Sometimes filing a BK is the only way out. Certainly, my husband felt...and still feels...this was the best choice for him. The harassing phone calls stopped and he was able to eventually return to work without the fear of wage garnishment. I hope this helps. I just wanted you to maybe try to see the situation from the other spouse's perspective. Donna
Congrats Chet! ;-) Hopefully, I can get one in about a year. I've got them paid down to about $800 now, I should have them paid off in the next 4 to 6 weeks. Cadman
Donna, That was a very nice post you sent to me and Chet. I guess there is a "little bit of the male chauvinist" in me because I really do feel embarassed about the BK. Anyway, I sure like the response you gave your husband. I hope you have a happy life together... And an AMEX gold card.
Jim, Thanks for the kind words. You judge yourself much too harshly because of the BK. I'm sure of that. Life can be pretty harsh sometimes. You never know what circumstances may bring and, as with both you and my husband, something happened that was totally out of your control. You responded to it as best you could and I admire you for bouncing back. Generally, we're much harder on ourselves than others are on us. You're doing great. I'm not sure I'd be doing half as well if I were in your shoes. Donna
Happy Dance........ for you Chet....!!!!!! Also..... Men... do us Women a favor and tell if you have a BK in the past ... PLEASE.... ;-) MartysGirl
Congratulations Buddy! Chet - I cannot think of anyone who deserved the Card more than you. GOLD - you dog! Proud of you - paying AMEX back is what did it I'm sure - OR - you would have been bounced. Congrats! Dog
MOVE to San Francisco After reading these tough problems about revealing BKs to spouses, I can offer the other solution. Move to San Francisco and I will introduce you all to a new set of people! just a little humor - dogman
Thanks everyone! For the women who responded about disclosure: When I opened up the American Express envelope and saw the shiny new gold card, it took me back to a very, very difficult time in my life when I filed the BK. I had superb credit for many years, and when I filed in 1992, it was a very low point in my life. I think that when you go from great credit for many years - to no credit, and no prospects for any decent credit, it's a little bit tramatic - and it's something that one does not want to reveal to the world. I believe Jim can relate to how I feel! Actually, this board is the only time I have ever revealed my BK in 9 years - the anonimoty allows that! (never told family/friends) I didn't say anything to anyone including my wife because I am embarrassed - pure and simple! Would my wife understand - sure, in a heartbeat! I believe male pride plays a big part here. For me that has been one of the tragedies of the BK, always having it hanging over my head. Even 9 years later, it still bites me in the ass.... But I guess that's my personal problem. Thanks all, Chet
Chet, Jim I know how you feel I feel the same way but on the flip side of it. I went from perfect credit to no credit. I was at a VERY low point in my life....so low I was looking up at the Earth. ;o) It happend because I was a silly woman in love. I thought my EX love me when in fact he loved ALL woman. Sometimes when I look at what I've accomplished, and all the knowledge I've obtained from this board I get really overwhelmed and emotional...if you know what I mean. A big knot forms in my stomach. Anxiety attack I believe. I really feel that this is why I refuse to remarry. I have a live in boyfriend now for almost 7 yrs and I just can't say "I do". I guess I'm selfish and don't want to risk anything I've achieved. My point....open up to your loved one or you'll be stuck in a shell by yourself even if you're not lonely.
