21 months ago i ended a relationship with a guy who had used my identity to lease a very expensive luxury car, he wrote me two checks totaling $4000 that bounced in my checking account, he used my credit cards, he opened acounts under my name, took money of of my checking etc etc etc. i am in the process of trying to get my credit together, in as much as i can. i can't open a bank account, get a lease on an apartment and i don't even know where to begin with the credit agencies. i have paid off muc of my debt and haev reoprted my identity as stolen, but getting a police report has proven imposible as i no longer live in the region i lived in at the time of the "activity". my debt isn't big enough to have bankruptcy be a viable option. i have no one to ask for loans from and i don't know where to start. any suggestions would be great.
You knew he was using your financial information and accounts while you were living together? It was ok when you were in a relationship but now it's not? The money he repaid you, or pretended to since the checks bounced, was for the car? Sassy
I was thinking the same thing, If he was writing yiu checks, obviously you knew what he was doing. If Im misunderstanding something, I apologoze.
It is not that simple. This poor individual cared for the man in the relationship. While many with stronger self-esteems can turn the individual over to the authorities on the first offense, there are many of us who couldn't do it. Yes, we may have known that they were using our identities or forged our checks, but we wanted a simpler way out.... they pay for what they took, accts get paid, and life moves on separately. Unfortunately, it often doesn't turn out that way. The person on the other side of the relationship cannot see beyond their own selfish needs. They end up screwing the very person who, out of a sense of "love", protected them. This person probably found out AFTER the identity theft began. He has been punished severly for the "lack of judgement". Let's not stand in judgement of this person now. This person is asking for help. If anyone has any practical ways for this person to move ahead and repair the damage, let them give this advice. I feel your pain. Life does turn around. It takes time. What happened to you was not fair, but you know as well as I, that even if you got a judgement against this guy, you would never see a nickel. It would be much wasted money, effort and negative energy. To start over, you must chalk this up to experience. Can you get another job to pay the bills? Many creditors and CAs do not verify timely. Have you at least gone through your first round of disputes to see what battles you have left to face? That is where I would start. Once you see what you have left, then get validation. This guy's signature doesn't match yours. This would be a good point to challenge the validity of remaining accounts. There is much you can do to advance your future. You first must face the mess. Get a copy of all 3 bureaus and see what you are dealing with. When I did this, my tri-merge was 22 pages long! I had 4 public records, 15 collection accts, 1 good mortgage, 2 bad mortgages, 1 ending in foreclosure, 3 bad cc accts. In the past 5 months that has changed to 2 public records, 4-6 collection accts (depending on which bureau), 8 good accts, no foreclosure. no bad mortgages. It won't happen overnight, but it can be done.
checks came at end, together, was not able to act on them until in account. was not aware identity was being used until one year after relationship ended. it was NEVER okay, i never gave consent because he never asked, hence theft. just looking for info, not comments on bad judgement
SCMomof5, I wasn't judging, I was asking! I think it makes a big difference if you were aware or not aware. If it was ok but now it's not ok, that's different from it was never ok. Sassy
As she said, she was not aware. I don't buy the fact that you know someone is screwing you, and you do nothing about it.
