If Attorney's had brains.

Discussion in 'Credit Talk' started by lbrown59, Aug 5, 2003.

  1. lbrown59

    lbrown59 Well-Known Member

    If Attorney's had brains... or Cross Examinations can be fun!

    Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that
    morning?
    A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
    Q: And why did that upset you?
    A: My name is Susan.

    Q: What is your date of birth?
    A: July fifteenth.
    Q: What year?
    A: Every year.

    Q: This myasthenia gravis - does it affect your memory at all?
    A: Yes.
    Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
    A: I forget.
    Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

    Q: All your responses must be oral, okay? What school did you go to?
    A: Oral.

    Q: How old is your son - the one living with you.
    A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
    Q: How long has he lived with you?
    A: Forty-five years.

    Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
    A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.

    Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo occult?
    A: We both do.
    Q: Voodoo?
    A: We do.
    Q: You do?
    A: Yes, voodoo.

    Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
    A: Yes.
    Q: And what were you doing at that time?

    Q: She had three children, right?
    A: Yes.
    Q: How many were boys?
    A: None.
    Q: Were there any girls?

    Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
    A: Yes.
    Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

    Q: Mr. Slattery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
    A: I went to Europe, sir.
    Q: And you took your new wife?

    Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
    A: By death.
    Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

    Q: Can you describe the individual?
    A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
    Q: Was this a male, or a female?

    Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which
    I sent to your attorney?
    A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

    Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
    A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

    Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
    A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
    Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
    A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

    Questions withdrawn...

    Q: And the youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
    Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
    Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?
    Q: Now the defendent, did he kill you?
    Q: How many times have you committed suicide?
    Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?
    Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?
    http://www.memail.com/fotos/index.htm

    THE END ** *** ** LB 59
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  2. SLShuman

    SLShuman New Member

    Come on now, we are not all that stupid...
     
  3. SLShuman

    SLShuman New Member

    Oops, and the tag line really should be--

    If attorneys had brains . . .

    No apostrophe required.
     
  4. lbrown59

    lbrown59 Well-Known Member

    R U 1
     
  5. Hedwig

    Hedwig Well-Known Member

    And this is credit related--how???
     
  6. Hedwig

    Hedwig Well-Known Member

    And it's true there shouldn't be an apostrophe. I don't know why people now think that an apostrophe makes a work plural. It actually makes it possessive. To make a word plural, you simply add an s in most cases.
     
  7. lbrown59

    lbrown59 Well-Known Member

    Re: Re: If Attorney's had brains.

    So are you saying there is no connection between credit issues and lawyers and Attorneys the courts and credit issues aren't related?

     
  8. BrettS

    BrettS Well-Known Member

    Re: Re: Re: If Attorney's had brains.

    As much as I hate to reply to this thread and carry this thing on further I just couldn't stop myself.

    'credit issues and lawyers and attorneys the courts and credit issues' (sic) are related. Lawyer jokes and credit issues are not related.

    Brett
     
  9. lbrown59

    lbrown59 Well-Known Member

    Re: Re: Re: If Attorney's had brains.

    Lawyer jokes and credit issues are not related.
    Brett
    ==========
    How about credit jokes and credit?


    THE END ** *** ** LB 59
     

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