If Attorney's had brains.

Discussion in 'Credit Talk' started by lbrown59, Aug 5, 2003.

  1. lbrown59

    lbrown59 Well-Known Member

    If Attorney's had brains... or Cross Examinations can be fun!

    Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that
    A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
    Q: And why did that upset you?
    A: My name is Susan.

    Q: What is your date of birth?
    A: July fifteenth.
    Q: What year?
    A: Every year.

    Q: This myasthenia gravis - does it affect your memory at all?
    A: Yes.
    Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
    A: I forget.
    Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

    Q: All your responses must be oral, okay? What school did you go to?
    A: Oral.

    Q: How old is your son - the one living with you.
    A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
    Q: How long has he lived with you?
    A: Forty-five years.

    Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
    A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.

    Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo occult?
    A: We both do.
    Q: Voodoo?
    A: We do.
    Q: You do?
    A: Yes, voodoo.

    Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
    A: Yes.
    Q: And what were you doing at that time?

    Q: She had three children, right?
    A: Yes.
    Q: How many were boys?
    A: None.
    Q: Were there any girls?

    Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
    A: Yes.
    Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

    Q: Mr. Slattery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
    A: I went to Europe, sir.
    Q: And you took your new wife?

    Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
    A: By death.
    Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

    Q: Can you describe the individual?
    A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
    Q: Was this a male, or a female?

    Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which
    I sent to your attorney?
    A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

    Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
    A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

    Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
    A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
    Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
    A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

    Questions withdrawn...

    Q: And the youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
    Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
    Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?
    Q: Now the defendent, did he kill you?
    Q: How many times have you committed suicide?
    Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?
    Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?

    THE END ** *** ** LB 59
  2. SLShuman

    SLShuman New Member

    Come on now, we are not all that stupid...
  3. SLShuman

    SLShuman New Member

    Oops, and the tag line really should be--

    If attorneys had brains . . .

    No apostrophe required.
  4. lbrown59

    lbrown59 Well-Known Member

    R U 1
  5. Hedwig

    Hedwig Well-Known Member

    And this is credit related--how???
  6. Hedwig

    Hedwig Well-Known Member

    And it's true there shouldn't be an apostrophe. I don't know why people now think that an apostrophe makes a work plural. It actually makes it possessive. To make a word plural, you simply add an s in most cases.
  7. lbrown59

    lbrown59 Well-Known Member

    Re: Re: If Attorney's had brains.

    So are you saying there is no connection between credit issues and lawyers and Attorneys the courts and credit issues aren't related?

  8. BrettS

    BrettS Well-Known Member

    Re: Re: Re: If Attorney's had brains.

    As much as I hate to reply to this thread and carry this thing on further I just couldn't stop myself.

    'credit issues and lawyers and attorneys the courts and credit issues' (sic) are related. Lawyer jokes and credit issues are not related.

  9. lbrown59

    lbrown59 Well-Known Member

    Re: Re: Re: If Attorney's had brains.

    Lawyer jokes and credit issues are not related.
    How about credit jokes and credit?

    THE END ** *** ** LB 59

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