Form Email for dealing with those that irritate you by their posts: Dear [ ] sir [ ] clueless one [ ] twit [ ] great man on campus [ ] madam [ ] dweeb [ ] twerp [ ] comrade [ ] Elvis [ ] moon beam [ ] boor [ ] Obergruppenfuehrer [ ] citoyen/ne [ ] Geek [ ] grad student [ ] cur [ ] Republican [ ] Democrat [ ] Liberal [ ] Conservative [ ] Communist [ ] Dilbert [ ] Dogbert [ ] Ratbert You are being gently flamed because. [ ] you sent a "Please Remove Me" message to the list rather than the list server. [ ] you continued a boring useless stupid thread [ ] you repeatedly posted to the same thread that you just posted to [ ] you repeatedly initiated incoherent, flaky, and mindless threads [ ] you posted a piece riddled with profanities [ ] you advocated Net censorship [ ] you SCREAMED! (used all caps) [ ] you posted some sort of crap that doesn't belong in this group [ ] you posted the inanely stupid 'Make Money Fast' article [ ] you posted the inanely stupid '$250 Cookie Recipe' article [ ] you posted an inanely stupid magic-weight loss article [ ] you posted an inanely stupid cheap s**t at high prices article [ ] you posted an inanely stupid 'Fix Your Credit' article [ ] you threatened others with physical harm [ ] you made a bigoted statement(s) [ ] you repeatedly assumed unwarranted moral or intellectual superiority [ ] you are under the misapprehension that this group is your preserve [ ] you repeatedly have shown lack of humor [ ] you are apparently under compulsion to post to every thread [ ] you are posting an anonymous attack [ ] you responded to an obvious troll [ ] you posted an obvious troll [ ] you have a sig that is more than 5 lines long [ ] you have a sig with more than 4 lines of ASCII graphics [ ] you assumed that AOL/CIS/Prodigy founded the Internet [ ] you neglected to do research on the chosen subject [ ] you asked a question that was covered in the available FAQ [ ] you redundantly covered the same point over and over [ ] you assumed that the Internet is a U.S. only phenomenon [ ] you crossposted excessively [ ] you, in any way, make, shape, or form, agreed with Senator Exon [ ] you posted the Good Times virus spread by e-mail message [ ] you used long lines, i.e. you didn't break up your lines after 60-70 characters, thereby making it hard to quote your post. [ ] You posted a request to send business/get well cards to a little boy with cancer who is trying to break the guiness book record. [ ] Over 90% of your post was quoted from a previous post. [ ] Over 90% of your post was quoted from a previous post and your addition was "I agree" or "Me too." [ ] Barged into a quiet little news group/IRC channel/MUD/whatever and started stinking up the place just because you read an article about the news group/IRC channel/MUD/whatever in some magazine. [ ] Repeatedly requested info on where to find XXX stuff. [ ] Repeatedly harassed people with androgynous names like Chris, Jamie, or Rajhatmalhaban, with "Are you a girl?" or "M/F?" questions. [ ] you, in any way, make shape, or form, used the term(s) [ ] "infobahn" [ ] "Neutopia" [ ] "synergy" [ ] "warez" [ ] "SUX" [ ] "wymyn" [ ] "ROOLZ" [ ] KEWL/KOOL/K0oL [ ] "information superhighway" [ ] Other annoying term: [ ] you discussed the following in a non-nutcase newsgroup; [ ] hollow earth theory [ ] alien President theory [ ] orbital mind control frisbees [ ] faith healing [ ] government weather control [ ] Russian psychics [ ] Squeaky Fromme [ ] the nation of France [ ] robot spy bees [ ] sexually promiscuous space aliens [ ] "Manos, the Hands of Fate" [ ] Other: [ ] you considered the following to be reliable reference sources; [ ] Golden Books' "Exploring Science", printed 1955 [ ] Any program covered by Talk Soup [ ] SNL News [ ] Oliver Stone [ ] Hard Copy [ ] Inside Edition [ ] The National Enquirer [ ] The Sun [ ] NY Post [ ] The Union Leader [ ] Pravda [ ] OMNI Magazine [ ] Company Marketing Hype [ ] Microsoft [ ] The Simpsons [ ] An unidentified, but obviously stupid, person or publication [ ] Other: In the future, you may wish to; [ ] save the "welcome to the list"message you recieved when you joined. [ ] allow boring and useless threads to die [ ] remember that not all newsreaders are threaded [ ] recall that there are academic and commercial users on the net [ ] remember that the Internet is multinational [ ] consider that others may know more about certain subjects than you [ ] exercise some humility [ ] be careful of where you are crossposting [ ] 'lurk' without posting for a few days to learn the forum of a group [ ] take personal discussions or stupid/boring threads to email [ ] get used to being mocked [ ] stop volunteering for Armed Forces pharmeceutical experiments [ ] join your people on your planet of origin [ ] remove the pipe from your nether regions [ ] buy a nice firey lakefront plot in the Hell you so richly deserve I would like like to suggest that, for the common good, you; [ ] wait at least two hours before responding to another post [ ] read the FAQ (frequently asked questions) list for the group [ ] learn to use the 'kill' command to eliminate erroneous posts [ ] post only to alt.dev.null [ ] selectively respond to threads after reading all new messages in that thread [ ] voluntarily apologize in a brief post [ ] shop for clues at a better clue shop [ ] no longer contribute to this newsgroup [ ] no longer contribute to any newsgroup [ ] no longer contribute to the gene pool [ ] look into the possibility of medication for the above problems [ ] familiarize yourself with the history of the Internet [ ] familiarize yourself with the concept of: [ ] patience [ ] tolerance [ ] caution [ ] common courtesy [ ] succinctness [ ] vocabulary [ ] higher brain functions [ ] Other: Please save this message and review it occasionally to determine your progress toward being; [ ] a useful member of Internet society [ ] a less annoying member of Internet society [ ] a human being [ ] a fully-functional human being [ ] a tolerable poster [ ] integrated into humanity [ ] re-integrated into the wild [ ] Other: Thank you for taking the time to read this form flame.
