Good idea! Print this out and mail it to him in a perfumed envelope. Mark the outside "from a secret admirer" so he'll be sure to open it!
This group is thoughtful!!!! All I can add is "me too" -- and one suggestion. Have him get a full report online from Equifax or Experian. I know it's fraud to even suggest that you do it for him ... Anyway, maybe the low FICO score and narrative will scare him. Hell, with a $100k education, being told you're in the bottom 20-30% of the population in terms of credit scores might "click" ?? Best of luck - mj
I, like many others, learnt the hard way about credit. I was never taught money mangement, but I did see growing up that you worked for what you wanted and that you could go to the bank and get advances on money. Things were tight when growing up, when we were paying for the next big purchase. Then I married and we lived a 6 digit income and could have what we wanted, but I still worked, even though I did not have to. That was my smartest move. Then came the medical claims that were associated with a medical problems. Then came a divorce and the income going from 6 digit to qualifying for poverty level. I had no savings and lived paycheck to paycheck, barely, if at all at times. I made choices, some which were to pay my creditors because that was instilled upon me to do. Then I had to realize, was paying XYZ company more important than buying food, or providing shelter that month. My parents did not bail me out and I was forced to make decisions on my own, some good, some bad. Some still haunt me today, but in a few years they won't. I did want to be bailed out, but i also wanted to learn about budgets, money mangement, money markets, the stocks and 401k's. I realize the mentality of kids....it won't happen to me attitude, but I am here to say it can and it does. Let your son flounder, as long as it does not affect your credit and then offer the learning tools needed. I don;t doubt that you have, but he sure does not need to learn this stuff when retirement is less than 25 years away either. Learning thru mistakes is not bad.
I wouldn't care much about his credit. If he's acting irresponsibly... then bad credit will keep him from getting more credit and from getting further in debt... He will straighten out his credit when he's ready.... and he'll pay for it while it's screwed up... BUT, as a parent I would step in and help him improve his loans to save him tons of money and collection charges He can never get out of those loans... never He can never bk them He can double or triple the amount in only a few years The govt will start aggressive collection tactics including keeping his tax refunds every year He can't get another education loan until these are cleared up and for the instant gratification bunch... He can't get a decent credit card car loan mortgage and some jobs require Amex that he'll have more trouble getting... Some jobs require good credit Security clearances require decent credit Insurance in some states requires good credit It's costly to ignore those very easy to fix student loans I have watched a friend let go of her student loans for several years... and I've heard the loans go from just over 12k to over 30k now... and still rising at a rate that makes me scared... It's not the credit... it's the money that's nuts. The collection costs on student loans tends to be some of the most usurous out there... Get his Sallie Mae loans current via some arrangement... any arrangement... and if they're not that bad... have him consolidate into 1 William D Ford Direct loan if he can... Get him into a plan to save him money... and if you can consolidate him into one loan it's easier to manage and it's less damaging to him if he does screw up again... 1 trade line vs 10.. If he's defaulted... get him into the 12 mos payment plan and get him rehabbed... actually, student loans have more options than any other type of loan... he can change his repayment plan to be income contingent... he can choose an extended plan with smaller payments if he just wants smaller payments... he can get a forbearance (interest accrues) but then he's not late... there are tons of choices... so defaulting on a Sallie Mae loan really isn't a choice... But the bottom line is this... you can do your best to help him (and it's wonderful that you're trying to help him)... but ultimately.. it's his choice how to handle this and ultimately... he'll have to grow up and until then... you can talk with him and discuss the consequences (and stupidity) of letting this go... but he has to grow up and take the action... you can't do it for him
AMEN Marie!!!!!!!!!!! Thomas, Is there something that he can apply and be denied for? a car perhaps, new stereo, something? Understanding the impact of having bad credit only comes through not having good credit -- I suspect that being denied will help knock the reality into gear and with your guidance while it is still fixable, understand what an asset he is throwing away. Sassy
Thomas, I am 30 and to be honest the only thing that brought me to Creditnet was the fact that we are expecting a baby in less than a month. He has to stand on his own two feet. Walk him to Creditnet and leave him there. Credit Repair may sometimes be a miserable vacation, however terrible credit is like a lifetime of purgatory. You have done enough by paying for the education, he is not broke, just irresponsible. He should grow up and not wait till he has more serious responsibilites to then see the light. And to be 100% honest (as if i usually am not) I hate the binds of credit that I am in and everyday I just about look myself in the mirror and call myself a f'ing irresponsible idiot. And I will continue to call myself that until I am in the 800 Club. HOLLA!
Thanks Marie, I guess what i'm saying is this. (sorry to get philosophical) But the universe, god, whatever, has an interesting way of repeatedly trying to teach us to take responsibility for our actions. And while normally, i would say don't interfere. With credit, Thomas's son or anyone, i feel much different. That lesson will present itself in some other form with him, as one's shortcomings have a funny way of appearing in many aspects of life that affect us in different ways. However, i emphasize having good credit, due to the seriousness of it. We have all heard talk of cashless societies, one world govt., new world orders, bar codes implanted in our skin, etc. And while this has seemed far off in coming, the current "unpublicized" laws, changes to our govt., threats to our nat'l security, etc are fast making those Orwellian concepts reality. I just saw a report on CNN about an English single mother putting a microchip in her daughter (much like they do with dogs and some prisoners) so that she would always know where she was. Social security numbers were promised by our govt. to never be used as identifying digits. When was the last time, you applied for a job, credit, mortgage, anything, without giving your SS#. We all give ours at least 2-3 times a day, requesting our newest credit reports. As Marie so eloquently pointed out, all credit will soon be equivalent to those student loans. It is even like that now. Have bad credit, one judgement, and one bounced check in chexsystems, and you will be living a basic day to day all cash existence. With little opprotunity to improve yourself. How can someone find this board, if they don't have a computer, or email account, or ISP, which all require either a checking acct. or credit card or lots of spare cash. Now with the current Bk laws, we're back to the days of indentured servitude (slavery) in order to regain our freedom. And most importantly, all i can say, is that my sources (don't ask) tell me, without spotless credit, things will be very difficult for those without. (What happens when after the next terrorist attack, God forbid, and the govt. decides to issue nat'l id. card with all important info. scanned into it, like smart cards or many driver's licences that already have magnetic strips on them.) I do feel this board is a bastion of freedom in many ways. And i believe people like Greg Fischer are doing wonderful things [i just wish he'd go on an educate everyone with his knowledge and let them decide. ] I don't wish Credit Hell on my worse enemies, well maybe, but they usually don't actually need credit. Let them learn their lessons in a different way, for better or for worse (pun intended). humblemarc
Thanks for all the input. He has been living on his own for seven years, since he graduated form high school. He is self employed, trying to get a business going. That is why is is short of money. Plus he had some bad experiences with cosigning a lease with a girlfriend he later broke up with. That cost him a lot and put him behind. He will not order the credit reports. He knows how bad they are. I spoke with him last night. I told him that when he is ready to start fixing the problem, I will be here to help. I laid out the options on the student loans. But, I am not going to press him any further. It is his problem now. Car loans are not a problem. He is a kind of hippie (think of Maynard G. Krebs from the old Dobie Gillis show - thats him). He can put enough money together to buy an older car and fix it up. Apartments are easy to come by without credit checks. He can make a lot of money if he could get organized. I will just let him deal with it. He knows he can come to me for help (but not money). Thanks
I have read the above posts and I really think everyone has given great advice. Just my opinion, I think you should help him. Now I know what everyone is thinking but let me finish. Everyone here knows what it's like to be in credit hell and that is why we are all raving against his cavalier attitude toward these loans. Unfortunately, we know because hindsight is 20/20. Many (not all) of us may have acted irresponsibily at one time or another that brought us to this place and now we understand the error of our ways. However, this young man has not had to deal with the horrors of repeted denials of credit and so he has not developed the hindsight that we have. I would be 100% in agreement that you should let him drown in his debt if it wasn't for the fact that I think the penalty does not fit the crime. 7-10 years of credit denial in every shape and form is not a fair punishment for a kid that has messed up because he was never in the position to really value his credit. With an education that costs $110,000 I sure as hell hope he has a good job. If so, I would suggest the 10% rule. Set up a plan with him to set aside 10% of his monthly earnings to bring his student loan accounts current. With student loans it has been my experience that once you have not defaulted they are very flexible. In all likelyhood once he brings his loans current he may find that his credit hasn't really suffered to badly. This is the way I suggest you help him out. Not by bailing him out with money, but by teaching him yet another one of life's lesson's: budgeting and paying what you owe. I think once he see's that 10% of his income won't cramp his style to much and will probably bring him current fairly quickly he will be more than amenable to this payment plan. Good Luck!
Starting a business requires capital. Unless he's planning to invest with his own cash, he's going to need decent credit to finance his startup costs. Does he know this? -ingenue
Let him do what he is going to do. I'm pretty sure you can't force him to change and it sounds like he doesn't want to. So let him destroy his credit. You said he makes good money so when he does come around and realize how important good credit is, he will have some means to pay it off. If you want to help him, help him out when he has changed his ways and then when he has paid everything off and needs help, help him with a cosign or a loan.
He knows what he is doing. He has all the connections. Just no cash. He has worked in the industry and has already lined up jobs. Without question, he would be better off with some financing.
