Re: Re: Re: Re: new here...and lots of debt. help.. Sure...knowing how much someone makes on this board is a great question...no doubt. A statement like..."why are you considering BK with a $75K salary"... is not. And yes...I know you can't get rid of student loans. I am not including them in my totals. And actually when I add everything up that is unsecured, excluding student loans...I get around $80K. On my first post I left out a card....I was at work so I didn't have all the numbers in front of me and I was going off of memory.
Re: Re: Re: Re: new here...and lots of debt. help.. You make a salary that will enable you to get out of the hole you are in with some effort. If you were $60k in debt and making $24K, sure, go for it. Your're kidding yourself if you think BK will solve all your problems...it may solve some, but it will also create some that will last with you for a long, long time.
Re: Re: Re: Re: new here...and lots of debt. help.. It appears to me that any advice that does not point you towards the road to BK is what you would consider some form of finger-pointing. You have opened yourself up to opinion. Now the fact that these opinions do not coincide with your own seems to cause you some distress. Are you looking for affirmation? You don't always get it here, as people here are not on commission.
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: new here...and lots of debt. help.. I feel like I worked 18 hours today for NOTHING!!! I'm glad tomorrow is PAID work... In the OLDEN' DAYS they said "THE WORST DAY GOLFING IS BETTER THAN THE BEST DAY AT WORK" TOMORROW I will have a better day at work...(11-12 HOURS)
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: new here...and lots of debt. help.. We are not defined by what we do for work. What we do in our 'free' time is far more definitive of who we really are and who we aspire to be.
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: new here...and lots of debt. help.. --- exactly my point.. who the hell is this guy coming here, demanding answers to questions he has?? it is our time we give to provide solutions to those who appreciate it.. that is why I stated I will not be helping him.. look at his post count? Not that should be a reflection of how you are treated mind you, but for a person that is new to come in and start demanding answers - that is simply obnoxious and rude.. also for me, the attitude that is displayed w/o any regard to what got you there in the first place, and neglectfulness of owning up to what YOU have done.. and easily casting blame on 'your wife' so you can get a 'fresh start' is irresponsible.. do as you will, but trying to 'live life' because now you feel free just doesn't cut it for me.. as i said before, good luck cuz people are now seeing thru your motives and objectives...
Re: Re: Re: Re: new here...and lots of debt. help.. Some people learn the hard way Doc.. and some people want to have their cake, icing, and eat it too.. enjoy the toys and get out of debt the way they can because it was their wife's fault.
Re: Re: Re: Re: new here...and lots of debt. help.. demanding? where was I ever demanding? I asked a few questions and I get resonces like I got from blueyes. I don't want to file BK...honest. However, like I have already stated several times....how does getting rid of a $300 payment put me within reach of tackling this pile? Again, thanks to those who provided some direction with their reponces. For as far as it being my ex-wife's fault...? Did I say that? I know i am half at blame for my crap marriage and this pile of debt. You hardly know the facts of what happened, why we are divorced, and why I have this debt. However, I must tell you...I don't believe in divorce, I didn't want one but I was forced into something I don't believe in. I also don't believe in or care for BK. But it's there for a reason...just like divorce, therefore...I am considering it. I don't think BK will solve my problems. Even thought I don't believe in DV...my problems were solved with it. Just a little fact here...when I got married..they only debt I had was my student loan. I had no credit card debt, no car payment...nothing but a student loan payment....and plently of cash in the bank. So...yeah, I do blame a little of my debt misfortune on my wife. Anyways...hope everyone has a better day than yesterday. It's not monday...so it has to be a little better. Sorry to those I offened.
Re: Re: Re: Re: new here...and lots of debt. help.. Your choices are: 1. Apply for BK 7 and be done with everything except house and student loans. 2. Apply for Chap 13 and sell your toys and pay your CC debt until paid in full If you choose not to file BK and THIS IS WHY YOU POSTED IN THE FIRST PLACE, your choices are: 1. Drop everything, stop paying and have the toy and house repossed, and lawsuits from the CC issuers. 2. Negotiate with CC issuers to settle (for the CC) part of the balance. Whatever you do, you will not have success unless you implement at least one of the following: - Increase your income (i.e. get a second job) - Reduce your expenses (i.e. sell the boat, join eBay for the other stuff). You scoff at adding $300 to your discretionary cash, but $300 toward a CC bill can do wonders for seeing that bill decrease.
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: new here...and lots of debt. help.. Exactly my feelings. You have made up your mind and are looking for affirmation. The best advice I can give, is what others have given, get a good lawyer. You have already spoken to two, so you know your options. I do wish you the best, as I feel most others do. (even Doc & Marci) jay
Re: Re: Re: Re: new here...and lots of debt. help.. I have a couple of cents to add here, I know nothing about BK, just about the emotions of being overwhelmed in debt. Fullofdebt, you sound like my DH when we were in the throws of digging ourselves into debt (before we realized that is what we were doing). It's called anger, and denial. When you are in this stage you can justify everything and anything to keep yourself from feeling the depression, pain, anger (pick an emotion) of facing the situation head on. We were there (all of us on the board). If you are really interested in getting out of debt and not declaring BK, you can do it. You have to sacrifice some things, period. We are all doing or have done it- life goes on and it's not forever (although it seems like it right now to you). Your $300/ month boat payment can make a big difference when paying things off with the plan outlined in an earlier post. Don't look at $300 against $80K- that is too overwhelming and justifies your choice for not selling the boat. Your boat costs you $300/month for the loan, what about the upkeep of the boat, gas, docking fees, repair, etc... That is more than $300 and is another baby step in paying down your debt, apply that money to the highest interest loan. Over time it makes a difference, not in one month. It will not take 6 months to pay yourself out of debt that is for sure. You have to choose which plan is right for you, but I don't think you are ready to make a choice yet. You seem very angry about the divorce (rightfully so if she was cheating) and in denial about how you got into the debt to begin with. I think you need to do some soul searching and evaluate your emotions before choosing a path at this point. If you are current on all debts and can continue for a little longer, I would work through some emotional issues first. You need to see both sides clearly, pros and cons before you can decide. Right now it seems as if you have so much anger (again rightfully so). but it is clouding your judgement and causing you to feel you cannot deny yourself anything because you have already been denied. Ok, I really have to stop watching Dr. Phil in the afternoons, sorry this is so long!!! Good Luck in whatever you decide.
Re: Re: Re: Re: new here...and lots Hi, I am a long time lurker and by no means consider myself an expert, nor do I have any answers. But I do have several questions for Fullofdebt that I think should be considered. 1) What are your current credit scores? I suspect they must be decent considering you said MBNA and Citi just increased your credit limits. If they are good, then Bk will tank them. You are current on all of your bills and have low apr's. If you can slowly pay off your debts then your scores will stay good and you can be in better shape 2 years from now. 2) What is your debt ratio? If it is high, then your credit card companies will probably jack up your rate. But it sounds like they have not done that yet. 3) When are you due to start repaying on your student loans, and houw much will your payments be? Will this be enough to push you over the edge? Many people have given you good advise here. Remember, you did not get into this much debt over night and you can't get out of it overnight. I understand your frustration. But you must take the emotion out of this and look at it as a business decision.
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: new here...and lots of debt. help.. Again....thanks everyone. Irisheyes...thanks for your thoughts. I think you are right on several levels. Marci...as far as your option #1...why do you say walk walk only the house and student loans? From what I have been told by professionls here...is that I can walk away with the house, the boat, the car, my 401k, my IRA.... thanks!
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: new here...and lots of debt. help.. I didn't say "walk away with". I said "be done with". You cannot discharge student loans. And I assume that you want to keep your house and not sell it or have it foreclosed on you (if you don't, you should). The rest of the stuff is up to your trustee. If you're going to do BK, get a very good attorney now.
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: new here...and lots of debt. help.. I cannot believe this. Honestly. If you have consulted with so many people who are telling you the exact opposite of what everyone is saying here, then I wonder why you are bothering with this thread? Listen to whomever you want, but I don't think you'll convince people around here that you can have a house, a boat, and everything you currently have without making one single solitary sacrifice. You want to keep the boat, house, all you have, file bankruptcy, and not have one ounce of skin off of your nose? If you can find a lawyer who will do it for you and a judge who will agree, all the power to you. However, it seems you want many to nod their heads and pat you on the back.
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: new here...and lots of debt. help.. I came here for advice...and just because I question it, does not mean I disagree with it. It's called education. If I ask someone what they meant by something I am asking because I am trying to understand the logic behind the statement. It's really a pretty easy process. Most things in life work this way. I also never said I was against selling the boat. The only thing that I would like to keep SHOULD I file BK is the house and car. I have been questioning the boat because I did not understand the logic behind peopleâ??s simple statements of just "sell". That has now been explained...and I understand. It was explained and I understand now because I asked for the logic behind the statement. I am also not saying that I wouldn't have to make any sacrifices...that seems like common sense. If I was looking for the easy way out I would have already asked the grandparents for the money. however, I have gone my entire life since I was 16 making it on my own and have never asked anyone for a dime. I don't think I need to start now. I am asking about BK because it is the option that stands out the strongest. Therefore, I want to understand it the best so that I can make the correct choice for ME. Thus the questions of asking people to explain themselves when they make such blunt statements with no facts or explanations backing them up. I have not consulted with that many people...thus the reason I came here. So far I have only talked with two different local BK attorneyâ??s. Of course they are pro BK...that's how they make their money. So...I do take everything they say with a grain of salt. If I agreed with them, I would have already filed. I too agree...that it seems unrealistic that I would be able to file BK, and keep the house, boat, car...and at the time I talked with the attorneys I also had a another car with a note. Neither one of them saw any issues with keeping anything I had a note on. That seems ridicules...to me as well. However, two separate attorneys have told me the same thing...almost word for word. And since I receive that information from them...I try and validate it, and ask questions to third parties.
Re: Re: Re: new here...and lots of debt. help.. Sometimes you've just got to have thick skin and not let every little thing bother you
