I didn't bother any of you with this, but here goes: Saturday, I found out that my father (wwhom I've only seen maybe twice in my life) is dying. On top of that, I have 4 siblings through him. I'm leaving town in a few minutes (I'm in IL, they're in MS), because they've told me that if I want to say goodbye, I've better come NOW. They had told me he had 4-6 months, but now things are happening so fast, and I've had to make these split secound decisions that I'm not used to doing. I've never even travelled without my mom before. So please, tell me I'm making the right decision. I'm scared, confused, and feel like I've been hit in the face with a shovel. Trina
Trina- I can't say whether you're making the right decision or not but I can wish you the best of luck. Have a safe trip.
Trina- Hi. there is really no "right" decision. everyone's different. it seems as though you want to do this - as you have made plans to go. personally - i think you're making the right decision - in my opinion - it provides closure. Be strong and have a safe trip.
Trina, What you have chosen to do is a kind and unselfish thing. No doubt your father has regrets for some of the choices he made in life that affected both you and your siblings. What you are doing is an act of mercy. You are giving him the opportunity to die in peace, knowing that even though he wasn't the father he should have been to you, you have grown into a caring and giving person. There may be an opportunity for communication, there may not, but either way, by your actions you are showing that you're willing to put the welfare of another above your own. Sure, this is scary to you, but you're not putting yourself first and that speaks volumes about your character. I personally believe, regardless of how the visit goes, you will be glad you went in the long run. You will have the peace of mind of knowing that even though your father wasn't there for you, you were there for him. Giving feels good. My prayers will be with you and your family. DemPooches
Trina, I understand from personal experience what you are feeling. I've only seen my birth mother (her adopted mother, my grandmother, raised me) 3 or 4 times in my life and I've seen my two half brothers probably less than that. I'm 31 years old now and I don't know if she's alive or dead and I wouldn't know my brothers if they came up to me on the street and slapped me. For you it is a hard decision to make because he hasn't been a real large part of your life and it sounds like you really don't know him or the other siblings very well. I would definately go and visit because it sounds like this will be the last time that you will be able to see him. Don't pass up on the opportunity to have that closure. I think that later in life you will regret it if you don't.
DemPooches said it perfectly. But I'll also add my own words: Have a safe trip and my prayers are with you.
sometimes life presents us opportunities that seem challenging and unfair...... I wish you luck in your decision and be thankful that you will have the opportunity to live the life that your birth father helped give you but chose not to participate in. Your are being gracious and merciful by doing this. Remember God's mercy is everlasting.
I hope that you went. I am sure that if you did you are gone by now but....best of luck to you. I think that it is very big of you to go visit your father. You obviously were raised by a loving caring person who gave you strength, morals and the empathy to do what you are doing.
