Like a bird on the wire, like a drunk in a midnight choir I have tried in my way to be free. Like a worm on a hook, like a knight from some old fashioned book I have saved all my ribbons for thee. If I, if I have been unkind, I hope that you can just let it go by. If I, if I have been untrue I hope you know it was never to you. Like a baby, stillborn, like a beast with his horn I have torn everyone who reached out for me. But I swear by this song and by all that I have done wrong I will make it all up to thee. I saw a beggar leaning on his wooden crutch, he said to me, "You must not ask for so much." And a pretty woman leaning in her darkened door, she cried to me, "Hey, why not ask for more?" Oh like a bird on the wire, like a drunk in a midnight choir I have tried in my way to be free. (L. Cohen) Mark LA
Brother bought a coconut, he bought it for a dime His sister had another, she paid it for a lime. She put the lime in the coconut, and drank them both up She put the lime in the coconut, and drank them both up She put the lime in the coconut, Called the doctor, woke him up, and said, "Doctor, ain't there nothin' I can take, I say, Doctor, to relieve this belly ache? I say, Doctor, ain't there nothin' I can take, I say, Doctor, to relieve this belly ache?" "Now let me get this straight; You put the lime in the coconut, you drank them both up You put the lime in the coconut, you drank them both up You put the lime in the coconut, called your doctor, woke him up, and said, 'Doctor, ain't there nothing I can take, I say, Doctor, to relieve this belly ache? I say, Doctor, ain't there nothin' I can take, I say, Doctor, to relieve this belly ache?' You put the lime in the coconut, and drink them both down, You put the lime in the cocount, you're such a silly woman! Put the lime in the coconut, and drink them both together, Put the lime in the coconut, and call me in the morning." Harry Nillson
LULLABYE She grew up with The children of the stars In the Hollywood Hills and the boulevard Her parents threw big parties Everyone was there They hung out with folks like Dennis Hopper, Bob Seeger, Sonny and Cher Now, she feels safe In this bar on Fairfax And from the stage I can tell that She can't let go and she can't relax And just before She hangs her head to cry I sing to her a lullaby, I sing Everything's gonna be all right Rockabye, rockabye Everything's gonna be all right Rockabye, rockabye Rockabye She still lives with her mom Outside the city Down that street about a half a mile And all her friends tell her She's so pretty But she'd be a whole lot prettier If she smiled once in a while `Cause even her smile Looks like a frown She's seen her share of devils In this angel town But, everything's gonna be all right Rockabye, rockabye Everything's gonna be all right Rockabye, rockabye Rockabye I told her I ain't so sure about this place It's hard to play a gig in this town And keep a straight face Seems like everyone here's got a plan It's kind of like Nashville with a tan, but, Everything's gonna be all right Rockabye, rockabye Everything's gonna be all right Rockabye, rockabye Everything's gonna be all right Rockabye, rockabye Everything's gonna be all right Rockabye, rockabye, rockabye, bye, bye Bye, bye (S. Mullins) Mark LA
I've Got A Lovely Bunch Of Coconutsâ? Written by Fred Heatherton Made famous by Danny Kaye Down at an English fair One evening I was there When I heard a showman Shouting underneath the flair... Oh, I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, There they are all standing in a row. Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head Give 'em a twist, a flick of the wrist, That's what the showman said. Oi! I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts Every ball you throw will make me rich. And there stands me wife, the idol of me life, singing Roll a bowl a ball a penny a pitch. Singing roll a bowl a ball a penny a pitch, Singing roll a bowl a ball a penny a pitch, Roll a bowl a ball Roll a bowl a ball Singing roll a bowl a ball a penny a pitch.
CLASS Whatever happened to fair dealing? And pure ethics And nice manners? Why is it everyone now is a pain in the ass? Whatever happened to class? Class. Whatever happened to, "Please, may I?" And, "Yes, thank you?" And, "How charming?" Now, every son of a bitch is a snake in the grass Whatever happened to class? Class! Ah, there ain't no gentlemen To open up the doors There ain't no ladies now, There's only pigs and *****s And even kids'll knock ya down So's they can pass Nobody's got no class! Whatever happened to old values? And fine morals? And good breeding? Now, no one even says "oops" when they're Passing their gas Whatever happened to class? Class! Ah, there ain't no gentlemen That's fit for any use And any girl'd touch her privates For a deuce And even kids'll kick your shins and give you sass And even kids'll kick your shins and give you sass Nobody's got no class! All you read about today is rape and theft Jesus Christ, ain't there no decency left? Nobody's got no class! Everybody you watch has got his brains in his crotch Holy crap Holy crap What a shame What a shame What became of class? (F. Ebb) Mark LA
Forest Lawn Oh lay me down in Forest Lawn in a silver casket Put golden flowers over my head in a silver basket Let the drum and bugle corp play taps while the cannons roar And sixteen liveried employees sell souvenirs from the funeral store I want to go simply when I go They'll give me a simple funeral there I know With a casket lined in fleece And fireworks spelling out Rest In Peace Oh take me when I'm gone to Forest Lawn Oh lay me down in Forest Lawn they understand there They have a heavenly choir and a military band there Just put me in their care I'll find my comfort there With sixteen planes in a last salute they'll drop a cross with a parachute I want to go simply when I go They'll give me a simple funeral there I know With a hundred strolling strings And topless dancers with golden wings Oh take me when I'm gone to Forest Lawn Oh, come, come, come, come Come to the church in the wild wood Kindly leave a contribution in the pale Be as simple and as trusting as a child would And we'll sell you the church in the dale To find a simple resting place is my desire To lay me down with a smiling face comes a little bit higher My likeness cast in brass will stand in plastic grass While hidden weights and springs tip it's hat to the mourners filing passed I want to go simply when I go They'll give me a simple funeral there I know I'll lie beneath the sand With piped in tapes of Billy Graham Oh take me when I'm gone to Forest Lawn Rock of ages cleft for me Forest's lightly higher fee Oh take me when I'm gone to Forest Lawn Amen Words and music by Tom Paxton Performed By John Denver
Stranger Song It's true that all the men you knew were dealers who said they were through with dealing Every time you gave them shelter I know that kind of man It's hard to hold the hand of anyone who is reaching for the sky just to surrender, who is reaching for the sky just to surrender. And then sweeping up the jokers that he left behind you find he did not leave you very much not even laughter Like any dealer he was watching for the card that is so high and wild he'll never need to deal another He was just some Joseph looking for a manger He was just some Joseph looking for a manger And then leaning on your window sill he'll say one day you caused his will to weaken with your love and warmth and shelter And then taking from his wallet an old schedule of trains, he'll say I told you when I came I was a stranger I told you when I came I was a stranger. But now another stranger seems to want you to ignore his dreams as though they were the burden of some other O you've seen that man before his golden arm dispatching cards but now it's rusted from the elbows to the finger And he wants to trade the game he plays for shelter Yes he wants to trade the game he knows for shelter. Ah you hate to see another tired man lay down his hand like he was giving up the holy game of poker And while he talks his dreams to sleep you notice there's a highway that is curling up like smoke above his shoulder. It is curling just like smoke above his shoulder. You tell him to come in sit down but something makes you turn around The door is open you can't close your shelter You try the handle of the road It opens do not be afraid It's you my love, you who are the stranger It's you my love, you who are the stranger. Well, I've been waiting, I was sure we'd meet between the trains we're waiting for I think it's time to board another Please understand, I never had a secret chart to get me to the heart of this or any other matter When he talks like this you don't know what he's after When he speaks like this, you don't know what he's after. Let's meet tomorrow if you choose upon the shore, beneath the bridge that they are building on some endless river Then he leaves the platform for the sleeping car that's warm You realize, he's only advertising one more shelter And it comes to you, he never was a stranger And you say ok the bridge or someplace later. (L. Cohen) Mark LA
Everybody Knows Everybody knows that the dice are loaded Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed Everybody knows that the war is over Everybody knows the good guys lost Everybody knows the fight was fixed The poor stay poor, the rich get rich That's how it goes Everybody knows (L. Cohen) Mark LA
Teachers I met a woman long ago her hair the black that black can go Are you a teacher of the heart? Soft she answered no. I met a girl across the sea, her hair the gold that gold can be, Are you a teacher of the heart? Yes, but not for thee. I met a man who lost his mind in some lost place I had to find, follow me the wise man said, but he walked behind. I walked into a hospital where none was sick and none was well, when at night the nurses left I could not walk at all. Morning came and then came noon, dinner time a scalpel blade lay beside my silver spoon. Some girls wander by mistake into the mess that scalpels make. Are you the teachers of my heart? We teach old hearts to break. One morning I woke up alone, the hospital and the nurses gone Have I carved enough my Lord? Child, you are a bone. I ate and ate and ate, no I did not miss a plate, well How much do these suppers cost? We'll take it out in hate. I spent my hatred everyplace, on every work on every face, someone gave me wishes and I wished for an embrace. Several girls embraced me, then I was embraced by men, Is my passion perfect? No, do it once again. I was handsome I was strong, I knew the words of every song. Did my singing please you? No, the words you sang were wrong. Who is it whom I address, who takes down what I confess? Are you the teachers of my heart? We teach old hearts to rest. Oh teachers are my lessons done? I cannot do another one. They laughed and laughed and said, Well child, are your lessons done? are your lessons done? are your lessons done? (L. Cohen) Mark LA
Hope there's nobody from Toledo out there... Saturday Night In Toledo, Ohio (Sparks) New Christy Publishing Company Saturday night in Toledo, Ohio is like being nowhere at all. All through the day how the hours rush by, you sit in the park and you watch the grass die. Ah, but after the sunset, the dusk and the twilight, when shadows of night start to fall. They roll back the sidewalk precisely at ten and people who live there are not seen again. Just two lonely truckers from Great Falls, Montana and a salesman from places unknown all huddled together in downtown, Toledo to spend their big night all alone. You ask how I know of Toledo, Ohio? Well I spent a week there one day. They've got entertainment to dazzle your eyes: go visit the bakery and watch the buns rise. Ah, but let's not forget that the folks of Toledo unselfishly gave us the scale. No springs, honest weight, that's the promise they made, so smile and be thankful next time you get weighed. And "wive and wet wive", let this be our motto, let's let the sleeping dogs lie. And here's to the dogs of Toledo, Ohio, ladies, we bid you goodbye.
You Dun Stomped On My Heart (Williams) I told you that I loved you, you said that is so good. I called you my darling, I thought I always would. But now you've gone and left me, I don't know what to do. So my little darling, I write these words to you. You dun stomped on my heart and you mashed that sucker flat. You just sorta stomped on my aorta. You started going out with guys. I felt us drift apart. And every step you took was a stomp upon my heart. I only hope that someday, you get them low down blues. In some smoky honky-tonk youâ??ll look down at your shoes. You'll think about that tender heart that you crushed beneath them soles. With your cold busting stompers, you left my heart so full of holes. You dun stomped on my heart and you mashed that sucker flat. You just sorta stomped on my aorta. You started going out with guys. I felt us drift apart. And every step you took was a stomp upon my heart. And every step you took was a stomp upon my heart.
What Have They Done To My Song Ma look what they done to my song ma look what they done to my song well it's the only thing that i could do half right and it's turning out all wrong ma look what they done to my song look what they done to my brain ma look what they done to my brain well they picked it like a chicken bone and i think i'm half insane ma look what they done to my song wish i could find a good book to live in wish i could find a good book well if i could find a real good book i'd never have to come out and look at what they done to my song la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la look what they done to my song but maybe it'll all be alright ma maybe it'll all be okay well if the people are buying tears i'll be rich someday ma look what they done to my song ils ont change ma chanson, ma ils ont change ma chanson look what they done to my song ma look what they done to my song ma well they tied it up in a plastic bag and turned it upside down ma look what they done to my song c'est la seule chose que je peux faire et ce n'est pas bon, ma. ils ont change ma chanson. look what they done to my song ma look what they done to my song it's the only thing i could do alright and they turned it upside down oh ma look what they done to my song (Melanie) Mark LA
David Sedaris, from his book "Holidays on Ice." Here's an excerpt. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I was in a coffee shop looking through the want ads when I read, â??Macyâ??s Herald Square, the largest store in the world, has big opportunities for outgoing, fun-loving people of all shapes and sizes who want more than just a holiday job! Working as an elf in Macyâ??s SantaLand means being at the center of excitementâ?¦â? I circled the ad and then I laughed out loud at the thought of it. The man seated next to me turned on his stool, checking to see if I was a lunatic. I continued to laugh, quietly. Yesterday I applied for a job at UPS. They are hiring driversâ?? helpers for the upcoming Christmas season and I went to their headquarters filled with hope. In line with three hundred other men and women my hope diminished. During the brief interview I was asked why I wanted to work for UPS and I answered that I wanted to work for UPS because I like the brown uniforms. What did they expect me to say? â??Iâ??d like to work for UPS because, in my opinion, itâ??s an opportunity to showcase my substantial leadership skills in one of the finest private delivery companies this country has seen since the Pony Express!â? I said I liked the uniforms and the UPS interviewer turned my application facedown on his desk and said, â??Give me a break.â? I came home this afternoon and checked the machine for a message from UPS but the only message I got was from the company that holds my student loan, Sallie Mae. Sallie Mae sounds like a naïve and barefoot hillbilly girl but in fact they are a ruthless and aggressive conglomeration of bullies located in a tall brick building somewhere in Kansas. I picture it to be the tallest building in that state and I have decided they hire their employees straight out of prison. It scares me. The woman at Macyâ??s asked, â??Would you be interested in full-time elf or evening and weekend elf?â? I said, â??Full-time elf.â? I have an appointment next Wednesday at noon. I am a thirty-three-year-old man applying for a job as an elf. I often see people on the streets dressed as objects and handling out leaflets. I tend to avoid leaflets, but to accept it graciously, saying, â??Thank you so much,â? and thinking, You poor, pathetic son of a bâ?¦. I donâ??t know what you have but I hope I never catch it. This afternoon on Lexington Avenue I accepted a leaflet from a man dressed as a camcorder. Hot dots, peanuts, tacos, video cameras, these things make me sad because they donâ??t fit in on the streets. In a parade, maybe, but not on the streets. I figure that at least as an elf I will have a place; Iâ??ll be in Santaâ??s Village with all the other elves. We will reside in a fluffy wonderland surrounded by candy canes and gingerbread shacks. It wonâ??t be quite as sad as standing on some street corner dressed as a french fry.
The Future's So Bright I Gotta Wear Shades - Timbuk 3 I study nuclear science I love my classes I got a crazy teacher, he wears dark glasses Things are going great, and they're only getting better I'm doing all right, getting good grades The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades I've got a job waiting for my graduation Fifty thou a year -- buys a lot of beer Things are going great, and they're only getting better I'm doing all right, getting good grades The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades Well I'm heavenly blessed and worldly wise I'm a peeping-tom techie with x-ray eyes Things are going great, and they're only getting better I'm doing all right, getting good grades The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades I study nuclear science I love my classes I got a crazy teacher, he wears dark glasses Things are going great, and they're only getting better I'm doing all right, getting good grades The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades I gotta wear shades, I gotta wear shades
