OT-Parental Rights, need help

This is a problem that I have dealt with myself. Do a search for adoption by step parent and requirements in your state. Not having any contact with your son for several years, should allow your husband to legally adopt this child. Child support and visitation are two seperate issues and dealt with differently as well. Some states allow you to place an ad in the paper stating your intentions and giving them an address so they can appear to object. try nololaw for a start.

 

Since I work in the family court and actually watched a case similar to yours on Tuesday, I believe that I have standing to answer some of your questions.

On the question of which court, it all depends of your location within NH. Here is a link which will describe which court is to be used: http://www.state.nh.us/courts/aoc/structur.htm

Family Division

In 1995 the Legislature enacted Chapter 152 creating a Family Division Pilot Program in Rockingham and Grafton counties. The Family division has jurisdiction over all types of family law matters including divorce, child custody and visitation, child support, juvenile matters, domestic violence, guardianship of minors, and adoptions. There are four Family Division locations in each of the two pilot counties.

or

Superior Court

The Superior Court is a trial court of general jurisdiction and provides jury trials in civil and criminal cases. The Superior Court has jurisdiction over felonies, divorce, and custody cases, and hears de novo appeals from District Court in limited classes of cases. The Superior Court has concurrent jurisdiction with District Courts in domestic violence cases.


On the issue of being unable to locate the biological father, there is a legal process titled, "Notification by Publication", in which an ad will be placed in the paper in order to locate the father.

If the father does not make contact or appear in court, then this is a default publication.

The court will appoint an attorney Ad Litem for the child. This person will determine what is indeed best for the child.

The whole process is titled an "Adoption by Step-parent". In my state and many others, the reasonable amount of time in which to be absent from a child has to be less than six months, before the child is considered abandoned.

He has grossly exceeded this period.

However, I do not give legal advice only mere suggestions, please do not confuse the too.

Good Luck,

If you need more help, email me.

?????? School of Law
Class of 2006

 

You can have him served at his last known address.
Also, if you are going to use a lawyer, they have the ways of locating deadbeat dads; I use to work for a child support lawyer.

Also, if you do not put the father on the information card to pick up your child from school, then CAN NOT release him to that person.

This can be construed as Kidnapping, since you are the principal primary conservator and custodial guardian for the child.

If you cant get him served, and you do have to at least try, then consider the publication by notification.

 

I would have the school's rear on that one. My ex does have visitation rights but he is NOT on the papers to pick her up from school. If they ever allow him or anyone else to take her without my permission we are going round and round. Luckily her school makes you show a driver's license (yes even me) to pick a child up from school and if you are NOT on the list, you don't get the child.

 

how can they release your child to a "father" that is NOT on the paperwork you give them?

how can they verify(even with a drivers licencse) that he is the "father".

can I say I'm the father of any child with the last name 'javan'? doubt it!

good luck!

 

Reshod,

A quick question - what happens if the "bio" dad is in jail? The mother is no longer with the father, and will be remarrying shortly. The one child has the father's last name (first born) and the second child has the mother's maiden name. The mother wants to change the first son's name to hers; before the oldest (3) can begin asking questions. The "bio" dad is a deadbeat, convicted felon 3 times over and gave up visitation rights when the child was 8 months old (as not seen him since). He has never paid child support. Is there anything the mother can do? Thanks in advance.

Dani

 

KHM,
I just cannot imagine that this teacher gave you the correct information!! I teach here in NH and I can tell you that if I ever released a child to someone who was NOT on their pick up list (regardless of the relationship), I would be packing my room up!! Also, I don't know if this is just in our district or not, but custodial parents can even request to be immediately notified if the other parent even calls the school!!

I would not take no for an answer on this one. This is not just because you don't want the father to see his child. It is, obviously, in the best interest of the child!! If the principal says the same thing, don't continue the conversation....just ask for contact information for the superintendent! I think the superintendent is Normand Tanguay in Manchester.

AARRGGHH.....this gets my goat!!! Good luck!!

G

 

what happened to the quick question? lol J/K


This one is a lot tougher than the previous case. I can only offer my opinion on the matter.

The mother can file a "Name Change" petition with the court. If you are getting married and the step-dad wants to adopt, then the same procedures as previously mention are in effect. The only difference is, you know the location of the father. You can not consider the children abandoned, because he is incarcerated. However, if he has not had contact with the children for more than six months, prior to incarcaration than you may consider this as abandonment.

You will not have to serve him, since he is incarcerated, and the court can demand his presence on teh date of the court hearings.

I take it that you are not seeking child support in the matter, only a relinquishment of parental rights.

Remember this is only my opinion. Please do not confuse this with legal advice.

 

Males who walk out on their kids are scum. I won't call them Men, because a Man wouldn't do that.

My strategy would be to complete the whole process without the bio-idiot ever knowing it happened. And then don't go out of your way to tell him for years. Kinda' tough to fight an action you don't even know is happening.

In the first example I would try the "notification by publication" in any town you might remotely think the bio-idiot may be. The odds against him actually reading the legal notices are astronomical but this will display to any appeals court that you did indeed try all means of notification. (note the pious expression on my face) It'll cost you a few hundred extra this way, but it'll be worth it for security on the other end in the event of appeal in five years by the bio-idiot.

If you serve his grandmother, there is a chance that she will decide that she wants the child to remain "family" and will make every effort to find the bio-idiot. The odds of him knowing what is going on and having the ability to argue go up exponentially if you actively involve his grandmother or other individual who actually knows him.

If however, you know a previous address and KNOW that the new tenants or landlords don't have ANY clue as to his whereabouts (no forwarding address), then by all means attempt to have him served at that address. When the sherrif comes back and says "Hey, she tried!" It'll be one more indication of abandonment and one more point in your favor if he should eventually appeal.

Don't even bother with the Principal. This is a policy issue that needs to be straightened out in the whole region. Go to the Superintendent and ask nicely for him to tear that school a new posterior orifice. The Principal will be very cooperative when the Superintendent calls to inform him of the irate parent jumping up and down and frothing at the mouth in his office who refuses to leave until she gets written assurances that her child is not in danger of being kidnapped.

If he agrees with the teacher, smile sweetly and tell him that unless he squares this policy away immediately you will name him personally in the suit of child endangerment for promulgating policies that place children at risk. Then call every parent in the PTA roster and every newspaper you can find who'll print your story. Just be sure the papers don't use your real name. We don't want the bio-idiot to know we're talking about him.

Good Luck,

Dancer

 

Thank you for your advice, Reshod. I appreciate it.
Sorry about the short question.

Dani

 

Dancer,

Regarding the school issue:

Please remember that in the eyes of the court, child support and visitation with the child are two distinctly separate issues. The fact one has not paid child support has no bearing on the rights to have visitation with the child.

Non-custodial parents are generally entitled to both visitation and to come to the school whenever they feel the need. Therefore, school officials cannot limit access to children where the parents are separate.

My previous wife, in fact, tried to limit my access to both the school and the ability to pick them up from school. She refused to enter my name on the list of authorized people to pick up the children and failed to make me an emergency contact out of spite. The school failed to cooperate with my requests to be listed as a parent and limited access to my children's school records.

By the way, my child support is current.

This was easily remedied by bringing both the school superintendent and my ex-wife before a Judge. When I showed the judge what was going on, both the school and my wife recieved a strong rebuke from the judge and my ex-wife was found in Contempt for this behavior and the school was given a $2,000 civil penalty for violating my rights.

The school is now very cooperative.

My point?

Be careful and follow all the appropriate steps to terminate this dad's parental rights. If you do take actions such as limiting access to the child without a supporting court order, you could be making an even larger problem for yourself. The parental kidnapping statutes apply to you as well. Limiting access to the child when the other parent has a lawful visitation order is a crime in most states.

Also, as far as jursidiction, you would file your case in the state of the child's primary residence, as long as the child has lived there for six continuous months.

Standard Disclaimer: Nothing here should be construed as legal advice. You should consult a competent attorney.

 

I agree with what you say. But there are NC parents out there that do not pay their support and take vistation when it suits them. My ex owes many thousands in back support, but I have NEVER said no to scheduled visitation and even last minute requests. My ex takes about 1/3 of court ordered visitation, requests last minute things and I agree. I do this for the sake of our child ONLY. I have my own opinions about my ex and I expect our child to make their own opinions as well.
As for the school issue, my ex REFUSES to supply me with an address, telephone number or where they work. Makes it hard to supply this to the school. I write their name down as the other parent and then write N/A for the rest or UNKNOWN. When my ex claimed that I refused to give information to the schools the judge asked if they had a telephone or could write. The point was, if they were complaining that I was refusing, then there was a way for them to get information, call or write the school and ask for it. Did my ex do that? NO. Why cause they would rather complain that it was not being done for them and take me to court over it. I simply stated that I was not given information to supply the school with as an emergency contact, so what good was it to list their name without phone numbers or addresses? I also keep a log of everything and copies of letters, etc.
Denying visitation in absense of child support will land you in court faster than their not paying the child support. You will be held in contempt as well, alot faster than their not paying the support and that contempt. Courts and GAL's are pro father, contrary to belief, or are leaning towards that.
You do have to make an honest effort to attmept to serve them notice of your intent to have your husband adopt the child. You need to show that you have exhausted all attmepts to locate him. Keeping logs is vital to this.
Remember the courts look to the best interest of the child, which may not be what you or anyone else thinks is in the best interest.
I wish you luck. Sorry so long, but I had heck in the courts with my ex, I learned alot from it all. I may despise my ex, but at least they attempt to see our child at times. My thought is this, they are the one that is making their bed, let them lie in it later in life.
As the saying goes, what goes around, comes around.

 

Martig,

I agree with you 100% about not limiting court ordered access to the child and I should have mentioned that her failing to cooperate with HER responsibilities as part of a court order would cause all kinds of problems. My bad.

In this case however, there is no court order granting visitation (or is there?). They were never married and he has no way to prove to a teacher at the school that he's the guy on the birth certificate. She's worried that any guy who strolls in with an ID with the same name on it as the bio-idiot will be able to take her child.

Dancer

 

Sorry, part of this message didn't get sent:


QUOTE]Originally posted by martig4
Dancer,

Regarding the school issue:

Please remember that in the eyes of the court, child support and visitation with the child are two distinctly separate issues. The fact one has not paid child support has no bearing on the rights to have visitation with the child.

This was easily remedied by bringing both the school superintendent and my ex-wife before a Judge. When I showed the judge what was going on, both the school and my wife recieved a strong rebuke from the judge and my ex-wife was found in Contempt for this behavior and the school was given a $2,000 civil penalty for violating my rights.

The school is now very cooperative.

My point?

Be careful and follow all the appropriate steps to terminate this dad's parental rights. If you do take actions such as limiting access to the child without a supporting court order, you could be making an even larger problem for yourself. The parental kidnapping statutes apply to you as well. Limiting access to the child when the other parent has a lawful visitation order is a crime in most states.
[/QUOTE]

Martig4,

I agree with you 100% about not limiting court ordered access to the child and I should have mentioned that her failing to cooperate with HER responsibilities as part of a court order would cause all kinds of problems. My bad.

I've got buddies who are actually AHEAD on their child support payments and I don't lump them or you in the same category as this bio-idiot. Sometimes things just don't work out between mom & dad and the kids shouldn't suffer for it. You are apparently a good man and your kid's welfare is important to you.
On the other hand, a MAN has a responsibility to his children and if he voluntarily abdicates this responsibility, then he forfeits all moral claims to fatherhood. He shouldn't be able to just be Daddy when it's convenient. If the way to ensure this doesn't happen is to legally blindside him, then so be it! Remember, it IS legal to do it this way. This schlep-rock can't be bothered to let the mother of his child know he is still alive. He's scum! If he was such a proponent of Dad's Rights, then he would be campaigning to change the laws that allow her to do it this way. Also, she would know where the hell he was and wouldn't have to wonder where to have him served for what is a completely legal and legitimate proceeding. ie: Do you mind if her Hubby adopts the kid you apparently don't give a damn about?

I suggested that should scrupulously adhere to the requirements of the law and take every possible legally required step to try to notify the bio-idiot. Make her notification process letter-perfect to withstand possible later legal challenges.

On the school issue:

In this case, there is no court order granting visitation (or is there?). They were never married and he has no way to prove to a teacher at the school that he's the guy on the birth certificate. She's worried that any guy who strolls in with an ID with the same name on it as the bio-idiot will be able to take her child. Sounds unsafe to me.

Dancer

 

Dancer,

I wasn't certain if there was a visitation order or not. I've been through this and just wanted to provide an explanation to the extent of my knowledge.

The school would rightly ask for a copy of the custody order. If none exists, it would seem he has equal rights to the child. If there is an existing order, then comply with it, appear cooperative and bend over backwards.

Even with all this, you may not be able to take away his rights. The courts are loathe to do such a thing absent abuse or direct neglect of the child. Being uninvolved may allow a downward modification in the visitation schedule but not a termination of parental interest. This really is an uphill battle for you.

One other approach you may consider is having the father declared legally dead. This can be done in most states after a given period of time (7 years more or less). With that accomplished, the Courts may allow you to proceed.

Think of your child though, later in life the child may wonder about or want contact with the biological father.

Be careful and play as much as possible by the rules.