my sister is getting very serious with her bf.. i think they are starting to talk about getting married. my 2 worries are: he doesnt have a college education he has really bad credit is there anyway to find out what his full credit picture is? one day when i was driving him home, he asked me to stop at his mailbox. when he got back in the car he said to my amazement "wow this is the first day in a month that there are no collection notices" that really worried me... he said "well i bet i have a lower score than you" he said his score was in the mid-500's. what can i do... im really sad that my sister has such low standards and really worried she will get involved with someone who might bring her score down. she has really good credit now. thanks!
MY RECOMENDATION...if she won't DUMP HIM (j/k)...KEEP ALL HER CREDIT SEPERATE!!! Don't even open a SAVINGS/CHECKING ACCOUNT with him... (NOT THE SAME SCENARIO)---->My wife had a CD or 2 a checking account and NO credit cards...SO I OPENED UP A FEW "JOINT ACCOUNTS"...I kept some seperate...later she was able to get some individual ones on her own... NOW WE HAVE ONLY A COUPLE "JOINT ACCOUNTS"...everything else is seperate...(SEPERATE FOR F.I.C.O. REASONS)<----SOME MAY THINK THAT IS STUPID...TUFF!!! I found out the HARD WAY that "JOINT" and "AU" can KILL both of your scores...(WHEN DOING BT'S TO THEIR MAX)!!!
My advice? STOP HER - DEAD IN HER TRACKS! She may even get mad at you - so what! The difinition of love is the ability and willingness to put ones own interests aside for the spiritual growth of another. Help her raise her standards and drop this slug. Sure hope this helps.
Whoa slow down here. There's more to a person than their credit rating, at least I hope so. Does he have a decent job? A skill, or a trade that can earn a decent income? Is he otherwise reliable? Is he ambitious? How old is he? How old is she? Does he treat her well? Do they get along well together? How did his credit get screwed up? Is he a decent person in general? What about other red flags, for example, drug or alcohol abuse, or a poor work history. I'm a little surprised to see on this board, which is full of people who have had credit problems, a person being completely devaluated because they have credit problems. Credit is only part of the picture when it comes to leading a good life, even a good financial life.
I agree with your points Bunter. But what I saw in Allen's post was a young man who makes light of the "one day this month whereby no collection notice is received". Isn't that enough of a "red flag" for you? A complete disregard for his resposibilities and his "I don't give a damn attitude" will prove to be the disaster of the century for this young lady, who obviously deserves more. Sorry
Will he accept any help with his credit??? A college degree might not be that important to everybody. Does he have a good job???
Hey, You could take him aside and say: 'I know your credit is none of my business, but I love my sis and I want her to have the best in life with you and I know you want that too. In order to do that, you have to make sure your get your credit in shape so you can do that'. If he asks how you know his credit is bad, tell him about the mailbox episode. Then explain how his ability to get a house will be null. Getting an apartment is hard. Some employers check credit, getting a basic credit card will be hard. Just let him know you care, and he probably won't be offended if you approach him like a 'friend'.
Didn't mean to be so blunt gang. It's just that I just got through saving my own step daughter from a life of financial hell from her loser bf. Also - I just watched a WTC memorial program and now I'm all pissed off all over again.
Have we not learned ANYTHING from September 11th? First, about the college education, how many NYC firefighters and police officers have a college degree? Not many? Well these guys are HEROES, and they ALWAYS WILL BE!!! And I'll bet some of them even have credit problems, due in part to their low salaries. On the other hand, how many MBA's fell for the dot-com fiasco of the 90's? And what about Enron, Arthur Andersen, MCI, Tyco and Imclone? These guys ALL have their degrees! SO WHAT!!! LOOK WHAT THEY'VE DONE!!! If this guy really loves your sis, he'll get on the right track and clean up his credit.
hmmmm, How come the sister (and butch's step-daughter too) don't get to decide who they CHOOSE to marry or not marry???? This is 2002 still in America, yes? I thought we got past this more than a few generations ago. God blessed us ALL (yes, that's right -- male AND female alike) equally with free will, butt-out of THEIR business and let them use theirs. Sassy
We were asked for an opinion... Many marriages have MONEY TROUBLES...this would be a GREATER PROBLEM WITH HIM HAVING ROTTEN CREDIT GOING IN...
Nodding George, I don't disagree. Money problems are a great stress to marriages and all but the select amongst us seem to have them. I value everyone's input and opinions, and hope I didn't offend anyone, especially my fave Butch dude SNORT and Allen that asked. As well meaning as it is, I just don't think it is another person's business or place to make judgments about one's character and capacity as a person based on their money management skills or the lack thereof. If they are old enough to be contemplating marriage, they are certainly adults. And, we all know that money issues have a way of resurfacing until you learn the lessons that go with them. It's far more valuable in the end, I think, to love and be loved, and not just by those getting married, but by all the loved ones that are part of and become a part of a supportive extended family. Sassy
WOW! What responses! Thanks everyone. If I can put 2 and 2 together, I believe he has a load of collection accts. My disappointment is that my sister would settle for just average. I, on the other hand, want nothing but close to perfection in a woman. My credit score aint great but it is because of stupidity in college. Did I really need that Tiffani Amber-Thiessen poster? HAHAAH I really dont care to talk to him. He only wants to talk about computer and tries to beat me at everything. One time we went to the batting cages. I hit 8 out of 10. He stayed until he could hit 9 out of 10. It was so silly. The bottom line is that I do not think my sister is ready for marriage but her best friend of 15 yrs just got married. Except the difference is, best friend married a masters degree student with a great teaching job and she has a top job at her firm. All of you are great. I really am glad I found this place. Thanks!
I didn't see you mention if your sister is happy?? does he treat her well? does he work and make a decent living?? My husband doesn't have a college degree and did have bad credit and I married him anyway He is a wonderful husband and an incredible father and I couldn't have asked for a better man. ( Well maybe Mel or Denzel, but they are taken LOL)
