suicide and debt

Sweet, a willingness to commit suicide speaks to issues other than just debt. Obviously lots of people have dealt with crushing debt and not ended their lives. Others have. The research pretty much confirms that people fall into two camps -- those for whom suicide is an option, and those for whom it isn't. The object for you isn't to solve your debt so you don't kill yourself. The object is for you to solve your willingness to consider suicide so that you will be able to weather the full range of terrible crises that life hands all of us during the course of a lifetime. As my mom often said, "It's always something." You've got to get to the point where you can deal with those terrible times so that you'll be able to enjoy the great times.

Ok, since therapy just won't work on a bulletin board, I'm going to suggest that you seek real help if the suicidal thoughts persist.

Finally, if you get to the point where your life is truly in danger, get to an emergency room of any hospital first. You don't have to have taken a bunch of pills or hurt yourself in some other way in order to get emergency help. Simply presenting at an emergency room and saying, "Tonight I am afraid I may end my life" will get you immediate help. You'll be admitted to the hospital and given emergency psychiatric attention. There are laws now that prohibit any hospital or doctor from involuntarily keeping you for more than 24 hours, though. You will have to voluntarily consent to further help. (The "good old days" -- actually the "bad old days" -- where doctors could commit you indefinitely have ended. Only those who have demonstrated a clear and present danger to others can be held that way, and even then there are laws now which govern that.) During the period you are admitted, you will have an opportunity to forge a relationship with a therapist for longer-term outpatient counseling.

I'm giving you this information in hopes that it's not needed of course. Please don't feel stigmatized or "taken too seriously," etc. I'm simply giving you the bottom line in the outside chance that it could be useful to you or someone else who was attracted to this thread's headline.

Doc

 

my post disappeared....hmmmm
Prayer changes Things!!!!!
When your back is up against a wall, or even before....seek God,.....couldnt hurt......


honey you are far better than any thought of suicide!!!!
thats all it is, is a thought, a thought doesnt have life or actions until it gets in your heart. your heart beats life not death as evident by your willingness to keep on keeping on.


Bills, and circumstances will always surface.....LOL I had tore up from the floor up credit for 7 Loooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggg years, The Lord gave me the patience to wait and continue on in a circumstance that was bigger than I could handle.....no biggie...LOL Cash was KING for a long time....I made it! So can U


Honey this too will pass!
Know ther IS hope. Be encouraged


PEACE & LOVE

 

Hi Sweet,

I'm sorry to hear that you've been feeling so down and out lately. It sounds like your financial problems have left you emotionally drained and feeling as if you are all alone in your struggle with your creditors. Hey, we are all here for you! So you are definitely not alone

Is it possible that a break from the worrying and stress will be enough to get you back on your feet? If so, then the BK will give you the relief you need. If not...if there's something more to your depression...then perhaps you should talk to someone as PsychDoc suggested.

I firmly believe that peace of mind comes from within. I think it comes from knowing you can handle the curve balls that Life throws you as well as living your life parallel to your values and goals.

Sweet, try to think of this time in your life as an opportunity to prove to yourself how strong and capable you are. Then when the next big crisis comes along, you will be much more confident, simply because you surived this one.

Okay, so you've had some financial disaters. Big deal! That doesn't mean you are worthless! This is just one chapter in your life. Your financial problems are NOT a reflection of the kind of person you are. This period in your life simply validates that you are only human and capable of making mistakes just like the rest of us.

ANYhow, I'm here for you. We're all here for you. Don't let those creditors get you down. They are nameless faces and probably up to their ears in debt just like most other Americans. You are the most important person in this whole picture. Put yourself and your needs first for a change.

And give yourself a break...noone else will, and you deserve it. This nightmare will someday be a faded memory. Perhaps not as soon as you would like, but the pressure will ease in time...then one day you will wake up to a fresh new start. In the meantime, try to think positive thoughts.

Calmest_LA

 

I know how you feel. I was there myself just a couple of years ago. It feels so bad having people harassing you - trying to get money you don't have... the little money you have to get yourself to work and to eat.

I hope everything works out alright for you. Just hang in there. It WILL get better. It just takes time.

Good luck!

Doody

 

Please don't commit suicide or try. There is life beyond credit and debt. My parents have had horrible credit problems since 1987, but they are healthy and happy adults and now trying to work through it. They simply got an unlisted number to stop harrassing creditors, and now read letters instead of hearing hateful calls...they get more friendly in letters. If you need help with your debt, consider CCCS, bankruptcy, or just letting it all be. Don't end it over debt...debt (or anything else) is simply not worth it....move forward and live

 

Don't be sorry!

Because of your ruminations a lot of good advice was offered. I suspect that many a lurker, even some Creditnetters, may feel overwhelmed, and needed to hear that having debt doesn't make you a bad person.

If you never learned good money management skills at home, sometimes even if you did, you have to take a few knocks in life in order to learn from and overcome your problems.

 

Honey, I know how you feel. Hubby & I had fallen into severe financial trouble. Because of the recession, we found ourselves without the good jobs we'd had & nothing much available beyond fast food. And it happened within months of each other. Through the next few horrific years, I kept saying "but we're not bad people!". At the time, it seemed we were doomed to a life of struggling. It was INCREDIBLY difficult to keep our heads up & move forward. I definately felt subhuman. After much prayer & tears, I felt guided to persue my real dream...nursing. Each day I got up & dealt with school, even while sometimes my life crumbled around me. I figured as long as I was moving forward, I wasn't standing still....if you know what I mean. I couldn't just lay down & die (absolutely no pun intended here). I gained alot of strength and learned alot from my experience. The main thing.... every time a "blow" hits (and they still sometimes do) I allow myself to cry, scream, flail, whatever....but only for one night. The next day I MUST face it & overcome. With the crappy emotions & feelings let out, it is so much easier to have the strength to deal with it.
You are on the same track, and you're so near the finish line! Finishing your education and your filing this week. This already shows your strength. This isn't forever. You will come out of this just fine, and wiser and stronger for it. It will be a great feeling just to know you survived!
Hang in there. It's not forever, I PROMISE!!!!

 

Fight back!!! Send the following 2 page letter to all collection agencies. When they call, always tell them, "ask your questions in writing" and then hang up on them. If they call back, notate this and all conversations with date and time. After you send this letter and they call, tell them, "respond to the letter in writing," and then hang up.

[Subscriber]
[Address]
[City state ZIP]
[Collector]
[Address]
[City State ZIP]
[Phone number]
[Date]
Certified Mail No.: _____________
Re inquiry dated ___: account no. (none)
Greetings:
Thank you for your recent inquiry. This is not a refusal to pay, but a notice that your claim is disputed.
This is a request for validation made pursuant to the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act. Please complete and return the attached disclosure request form.
Be advised that I am not requesting a "verification" that you have my mailing address, I am requesting a "validation;" that is, competent evidence that I have some contractual obligation to pay you.
You should also be aware that sending unsubstantiated demands for payment through the United States Mail System might constitute mail fraud under federal and state law. You may wish to consult with a competent legal advisor before your next communication with me.
Your failure to satisfy this request within the requirements of the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act will be construed as your absolute waiver of any and all claims against me, and your tacit agreement to compensate me for costs and attorney fees.
Best regards,
[Subscriber]
CREDITOR DISCLOSURE STATEMENT
Name and Address of Collector (assignee):
____________________________________________________________________________
Name and Address of Debtor:
____________________________________________________________________________
Account Number(s):
____________________________________________________________________________
What are the terms of assignment for this account? You may attach a facsimile of any records relating to such terms.
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
Have any insurance claims been made by any creditor or assignee regarding this account?
Yes / no
____________________________________________________________________________
Has the purported balanced of this account been used in any tax deduction claim?
Yes / no
____________________________________________________________________________
Please list the particular products or services sold by the collector to the debtor and the dollar amount of each:
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
Upon failure or refusal of collector to validate this collection action, collector agrees to waive all claims against the debtor named herein and pay debtor for all costs and attorney fees involved in defending this collection action.
X________________________________ _________________
Authorized signature for Collector Date
Please return this completed form and attach all assignment or other transfer agreements that would establish your right to collect this debt. Your claim cannot be considered if any portion of this form is not completed and returned with the required documents. This is a request for validation made pursuant to the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act. If you do not respond as required by this law, your claim will not be considered and you may be liable for damages for continued collection efforts.

 

Hi everyone,

I might as well share this with everyone because this honestly does reflect my personal life experiences.

In the late 80's my parents got into a bad financial situation with a business they owned, and as a result they had to close down the business (a jewelry store). I at the time was working with them and rented a small house they owned on a piece of property which included another house they lived in.

Because the business was closed, none of us had income to pay for anything. I could not find work in my trade but did manage to get various delivery jobs, but this unfortunately didn't help much.

At this time is when I decided to change careers and go to a trade school for computers , but this of course did not help anyone's financial situation.

My Dad eventually got the idea to morgage his property (this property was close to development and very valuable) to smooth things out for awhile but this was only a temporary band aid because things only seemed to get worse and development potential was still a little ways off.

End result - the property was foreclosed on and we lost EVERYTHING. My poor elderly parents were escorted out of they're home and literally thrown out into the streets (LITERLY).

We spent the next 6 months together living from hotel room to hotel room untill I was finally able to find a small 1 bdr. place for us all to live in.

After only a few months living in the little place , one night I found my poor father laying on the floor next to the hide-a-bed. He was unconscious and barely breathing. I tried administering CPR, but he died in my arms just as the parametics came.

Folks, I dont know how close you are all with you're fathers, but my Dad was my life, and in a sense when he died that night I died as well. It all happened August 1st 2000 and I have been a broken man since then - barely a day doesnt go by I don't cry when I think of him and all the hell he went through just for God damn money and pride.

I LOVE YOU DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Sal

 

Sweet (or anyone else)

Please don't despair.

Before my parents came to the US 18 years ago, he was a customs official, she an OB & OR nurse. He started out working in a factory & she, cleaning someone else's home for $50 a week. Talk about eating humble pie.

She cried all the time because she could only come home on the weekends because she couldn't afford to commute back & forth to their home. Imagine the look in those people's eyes when one day she told them I was accepted to Yale.

Those were tough days, but given what we (their children) have accomplished now educationally, financially & otherwise, they would do it all over again. Even at their ages, my parents are still going to school, Dad to further improve his English & Mom to improve her career.

Life sometimes takes drastic, unexpected turns, but you will come through those tough times. One day you will be in a position to guide someone else through the storms you now face.