Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Too Stupid For Words>>> Does HIPAA apply to your pet's medical records? <tongue in cheek>
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Too Stupid For Words>>> HIPAA? Sure it does. Hole In Pet Anytime Anywhere. (LOL)
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Too Stupid For Words>>> Omg, this thread has gotten pretty funny. I recently returned to veterinary medicine after a 2 year hiatus, and and the mistaken cat billing reminds me of all the stupid things I've heard from owners mouths: 1. (Phone call) My dog died a few days ago, and I was wondering how much an autopsy is? Me: $25, but it probably won't show much at this point. (it was the dead of summer...95+ degrees) (man on phone) Well, I gotta dig him up...when can I bring him in?.... 2. Us: How did your dog hurt his leg? Woman: He fell down the steps. child: No he didn't momma, Uncle George kicked him off the porch.. 3. Us: What did your dog eat? Woman; My husband's checkbook Us: is there any possibility at all he ate something else? Woman: No, I'm sure of this. My damn husband doesn't pick up after himself. Offending item removed surgically : Tampon
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Too Stupid For Words>>> Well, I know an awful lot of jokes about cats, dogs and tampons too. But I shall refrain. LOL
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Too Stupid For Words>>> ewwwwww.....LOL. Sweet, If you ever see a well meaning however dazed looking gentleman in your office asking about a cat...please tell him to call home and not to SIGN ANYTHING!
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Too Stupid For Words>>> don't worry honey, we don't accept counterfeit cats, (Or counterfeit owners) and were always nice to dazed, well meaning gentleman....
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Too Stupid For Words>>> For those of you with cats... enjoy... How To Give Your Cat A Pill 1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. 2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. 3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. 4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten. 5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden. 6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously. 7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later. 8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw. 9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away.. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap. 10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door on neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band. 11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom. 12. Call fire department to retrieve the cat from across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap. 13. Tie the little ****'s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down. 14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table. 15. Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters. HOW TO GIVE A DOG A PILL 1. Wrap it in bacon. 2. Toss it in the air.
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Too Stupid For Words>>> Okay all.....I wrapped this problem up today, sorta. I will probably get boos and hisses from the crowd but this is how it went.....the vet located the document signed by my husband the day he picked up the cat. There in black and white was the signed agreement that he would pay for the cat's care. So I paid the $259.00 bill with a letter from the CA promising to submit a deletion of the account within 5 days. The vet gave the care to the animal so I thought it only right that they should be paid. BUT as soon as I get the deletion and the rest of the medical records I'm going to take Suzy NibSh*t neighbor to small claims court for getting me tangled up in this mess. She signed the consent for treatment forms, all care was approved by her on the phone according to the medical chart and she was the only person consulted throughout the care of the cat. On the date she was told the cat was ready to be released was when she threw out our name to the vet It appears that my daughter was given a kitten by a neighbor who lives next to her dad. Her dad and his wife said she could not keep the cat at their house. She lives with me but wanted the cat to live at her dad's cause I had already given her a big H*ll no to the call living here. Her friend Heather said she wanted the cat. Heather is Suzy Nibsh*t's step daughter but heather doesn't live full time with her step mom. Heather took the cat to her real mom's house...no problem there. She brought the cat to her step-mom's for a weekend visit. On that weekend her brother slammed the kitten against the sidewalk on purpose. That little bastard (17 years old) had once started a fire in a neighbors yard and had chased my son, then 4, with a weed eater that was running. The real makings of a serial killer that one is. Anyway my neighbor concocted the "stray" story and "finding" the cat injured to keep her stepson out of trouble for animal cruelty. She signed the consent for treatments, she approved treatments that were later needed and she was the only one consulted throughout the cats care. Only when it came time to pay the bill (she must have thought that stray's get free care) did she "suddenly know" who the real "owners" were and gave them our name. The rest is history. I hadn't seen these kids for a few years. My daughter lost touch with heather but a phone call to heather filled in the gaps. What a royal mess. My husband said I could kick him in the butt...he feels bad for screwing up and just signing without reading so maybe I'll save his butt kicking for another time.....LOL Gotta laugh to keep from crying :|
Watching SURVIVOR won't get the job done. You have to be a survivor. Especially if you want to get the pill down the cat's yap. See the previous posts on that subject. (LOL)
Judge Judy?? Oh H*LL NO! That lady scares me...lol I never gave a cat a pill BUT I tried to give one a bath one time.....NEVER AGAIN!
OK. But that first old boy who had the same type of legal show on TV. Can't think of his name right now. Certainly not Judge Roy Bean. (LOL) He taught a valuable lesson every time he came into the courtroom. He always stated, "I have read the case and I am familiar with the facts before the court." That pretty well established subject matter jurisdiction.
Re: Re: Too Stupid For Words>>> Judge Wapner and his sidekick/bailiff Rusty. God, I need to get a life.
