This is alledgedly an actual job application that a 75 year old senior > submitted > to Wal-Mart in Arkansas .... and they hired him because he was so honest > and funny! > > NAME: George Martin > > SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person (or one who'll > cooperate). > > DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But > seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, > I wouldn't be applying here in the first place. > > DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael > Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer > and we can haggle. > > EDUCATION: Yes. > > LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. > > SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth. > > MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and > post-it notes. > > REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked. > > HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. > > PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p. m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. > > DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS? Yes, but they're better suited to a > more intimate environment. > > MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had one, would I be here? > > DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING > UP TO 50 Lbs.?: Of what? > > DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would > be "Do you have a car that runs?" > > HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a > winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes. > > DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks no. > > WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas > with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the > greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that > now. > > DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR > KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely. > > SIGN HERE: Sagittarius >
