Wal-Mart job application

Discussion in 'General Lounge' started by lbrown59, Sep 6, 2003.

  1. lbrown59

    lbrown59 Well-Known Member

    This is alledgedly an actual job application that a 75 year old senior
    > submitted
    > to Wal-Mart in Arkansas .... and they hired him because he was so honest
    > and funny!
    >
    > NAME: George Martin
    >
    > SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person (or one who'll
    > cooperate).
    >
    > DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But
    > seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky,
    > I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
    >
    > DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael
    > Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer
    > and we can haggle.
    >
    > EDUCATION: Yes.
    >
    > LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
    >
    > SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.
    >
    > MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and
    > post-it notes.
    >
    > REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
    >
    > HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
    >
    > PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p. m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
    >
    > DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS? Yes, but they're better suited to a
    > more intimate environment.
    >
    > MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had one, would I be here?
    >
    > DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING
    > UP TO 50 Lbs.?: Of what?
    >
    > DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would
    > be "Do you have a car that runs?"
    >
    > HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a
    > winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
    >
    > DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks no.
    >
    > WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas
    > with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the
    > greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that
    > now.
    >
    > DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
    > KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
    >
    > SIGN HERE: Sagittarius
    >
     
  2. jlynn

    jlynn Well-Known Member

    I thought George lived in Colorado. He's in Arkansas?
     
  3. HAZ

    HAZ Member

    Now that is funny as crap, and very honest I hope he gets his new residence in the Bahamas.

    HAZ
     
  4. fun4u2

    fun4u2 Well-Known Member

    lol thats kewl
     

Share This Page