I will post a separate thread asking for witty people to contribute. Everyone will want to try, hehe.
How about including the pet droppings in the envelope when you are done filling out the survey? Someone else did this before, so I'm not going to take credit for it... BTW, Psychdoc is hysterical too!
I have a theory that the CRAs scan your disputes and put it in their system. I even bet that all of the consumer initiated disputes and inquiries (EQ,EX,TU, etc) that are made within the past 2 years can be pulled up at a moments notice meaning the CRA can see a file disclosure inquiry from 1/1/00 and pull up how your report looked on that day showing it how it might have looked before you took any action. I just counted the other day and I have about 30 EQ inquiries on my report and they are only beginning to fall off considering I only started disputing 25 months ago. What I want to know is if after the 2 year window, all that stored information gets deleted since it is no longer really relevent and can't even be used in any legal procedings unless you have had a case pending with the CRAs for months BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU!! Believe it because it is very possible. I have a friend that use to work for the collections division of a bank (First National Bank which operates Circuit City charge accounts). He said that they could trace and figure out people's spending habits by pulling up all their receipts on their accounts. Of course, if you have ever looked at a receipt you know it shows the store location, time of day, date, and all the individual items you purchased. The bank can pull up and view all this information. He told me it was really scary with some of the things they could do. And if you have been to a major retailer (Wal-Mart, Best Buy, Home Depot, Rich , Etc), you know about the electronic signature pads which for all we know could save your signature indefinitely. If you have ever browsed any collection sites that target small businesses, you have probably heard of a tactic called "skip-tracing." Basically collectors (who have specific departments for this) use all the personal information they can dig up on you including but not limited to credit reports and receipts to track you down and find you. I love plastic but sometimes there are some purchase I feel better making in cash. Cash is still and probably the only way to preserve anonymity in todays world for consumers. If you ever seen and heard about wanted criminals, outlaws, and felons on the run, you know that as soon as they use any form of plastic, the feds are breaking down their doors within hours. Ever seen "Enemy of the State." The one thing that is coming that I will not jump onboard is a little something called GPS. For me, I'd rather keep just a regular map book in my car than have one of those things installed.
There's another good reason not to fill out those surveys. As recently as a few years ago, some companies were contracting out the data entry work to convicted felons taking data entry courses at the California Youth Authority (Juvinile prison) and minimum and medium security prisons around the state. I don't know if Experian was one of them, but I do know that a number of companies defended the practice and said that they would continue to contract out the data entry work to the Bureau of Prisons. I can't think of a group of people as a whole who I would less like to have my address, income, SSN and other personal information. For a while a major hotel chain was staffing their reservations 800 number with inmates, they stopped when a number of customers saw unauthorized charges on their credit card after they had used the line for reservations. The inmates took the numbers and gave them to friends and family on the outside.
According to the FBI, Identity theft is the number 1 growing crime in the nation and will continue to grow as all those stupid, idiot criminals gat smarter and more in touch with technology.
My Answers: Whether you rent or own;do you have a septic tank?; // -"presently my cardboard box does NOT have a septic tank" your education; "far beyond your intelligence" your occupation, "streetside pharmacist" your children, "My son is Getting Out for Good Behavior next month. Little Doody really wowed the parole board in his interview." your diseases (in great detail); "extreme flatulence" medicines you take; "self medicating, see occupation, above" menopause symptoms (if so, what are they?); "Nag DH & Cry alot"
Q: Name your brand of toilet paper: A: I don't use toilet paper (smear chocolate on survey, or perhaps thick pea soup) -ingenue
The DEA also gives kickbacks (from seized monies) to companies (travel companies like Amtrak, for example) for notifying them of any customer making a significantly large ticket purchase in cash. And, if the DEA finds you with a large amount of cash afterward, they seize it first as "drug money" and investigate later. You can end up getting scrutinized for drug trafficking activity and having to go to court to get your own cash back. -ingenue
I don't know what happens to the letters. I do know they track disputes and results and can look at them at a moment's notice. As to little brother: I use a bogus name and address at the grocery store card. Why? Think of the tracking implications. I start buying tums and aspirin more often at the grocery store or at CVS. It's tracked and recorded. My Health insurance buys the info and assumes I'm sicker. My rates increase. I go to apply for more life insurance and now I get questioned about why I'm buying more over the counter pain medication and if my ulcer has gotten worse or if my stress level at work is causing health issues... I am very suspicious of all that tracking. Assume the worst. Use bogus info and let them track your dog instead. My cat gets credit card offers. My dog gets solicited. It is so funny. I get virtually no junk mail but my dog does.
Oh the pressure! Come up with something funny on demand! AGGHHHHH! Sorry, couldnâ??t come up with any original ideas, but hereâ??s a conglomeration of other peopleâ??s ideas: Education: Velvet Jones Institute of Technology (with apologies to Eddie Murphy) Course Of Study: Be A Ho! or, How to Make $150 An Hour Lying On Your Back! Occupation: Urban Outdoorsman (Homeless Person--- Courtesy of San Diego Radio Talk Show Host Roger Hedgecock) Children: That's a Lie! You Take That Back!!! (OK â?¦That oneâ??s mine, but itâ??s not very original) Diseases: The heartbreak of psoriasis. Also, I hear voices; lots of voices. You do not. Yes I do. Quit touching me!!! What is the frequency, Kenneth? Medicines: Yes. Often. I got this friend named doodyhead; he sets me up. Green's my favorite color. Menopause: Nah; Iâ??m just naturally cranky. And Iâ??m chafing. Toilet Paper: 3M. Prefer 200 Grit (Fine), but in a pinch, 80 Grit (Coarse) works OK. Just donâ??t make any plans afterwards. Favorite Reading Before Going To The Post Office: Earth In The Balance by Al Gore (FINALLY! Something Original!) Most importantly, before flying off in a fit of paranoia, remember these wise words: Never ascribe to malice that which can adequately be explained by stupidity. -Anonymous
Oops! Wrong Button. Don'tcha hate when you think you hit edit, and it turns out you hit quote and you already submitted it? I'm rambling, aren't I? No I'm Not!!!.... ;o)
This is totally OT but I feel I have to reply to Quixote. This is a true story that happened about a month ago. The cops raided a local apartment building used as a ***** house. The "employees" were told that if they ever had a problem with the cops to immediately call the pimp and the owner of the apartment complex. They could not get ahold of the pimp. It turns out that the owner of the apartment complex has the same name as me. I am in the phone book - he isn't. The "employees started calling me to tell me what happened. They would not believe me when I said that I did not own the complex. They assumed I would not talk to them because my phone might be tapped. All evening I got calls from hookers warning me of the raid (and asking where they could contact the pimp). Quixotes' first couple comments were right on target.
